[Crandall] Mooneday the 19th of July, 1802
We all arose with the Don intent on making our Way strait eastword’s rather then in a Northwesternley Fashion. Our Hike thru these Hills is vigourous & it is taxxing, but there is Occassional Game & at least some scanty Water afforded unto us, for we gunned down a Dough today & crossed a small stream which we called Crucibelle Creeque in honour of the Poem which was recessitated yesterday by our Warrior Poetaster & which so wowed the Corpse. We traversed about Twentey Sixx Anglickan Mile’s worth of Terrain today.
[Crandall] Toosday the 20th of July, 1802
My Comred Murray & my Self was awoken by the Watch Men repeatedly thru out the Nite for they was frighted by Odd Noises which they interpated to be Greyish Bearz, but no Thing ever came of it. We proceeded onword’s after a Spartan Breakfest & continuated traversing these Hills encovered in Pinez, rather dry with scanty underbrush & cumbersomme Stonez which we wound around. ’Tis quite hot even in the Shade & we sweat bounteouslie & unfortunately we did not meet any Stream’s today but thru foursite we had yesterday bade the Men fill their Receptacles to the brim & rationed them to Two Anglickan Pint’s per diem. We sleighed a Stagg in the afternoon & as per usual we requested that the Kayes Brother’s do the honour’s of the vivisecting of it—but to our astoniement Francis flatley refused citing the Fact that he could no longer do so even if he had wanted to which he didn’t. His Brother Danielle was equally as confused as we. “I thought we was a Teem!” he ejaculated, his Knives dangelling limpidly at his Sides, & finally Francis than admitted the fallowing unto us: “For the passed Two Month’s now I have harboured grave missgiving’s about the Trade that I was brought up to—yea, from the vary cradle—that being Boucherie1. As you all know our Daddy Pappy Kaye was a Boucher by Trade & like him my Brother & me was expected to prolong his Legacy by the fallowing in his Foot Steppe’s. So as a cupula Boucherz Boyz we grew up to be all most inveritably2 splattered with blood & stinking of Death wheree’er we went no matter how hard Mammy Kaye scrubbed us—which is why we dropped out of school. For the Other Kid’s used to tease us some Thing offal3 which is why we took so to Cissy Pringle. For she had lost her sense of smell in her toddlerhood as the Result of a Fall from the roof of her Family’s Shaque. What she was doing up on the Roof I all ways forgot to axe. Or may be she told me but I forgot. But that’s Impossible for I would never forget a Word passing thru those cracked backcountrey Lipp’s of her’s so help me Godz!” “Gemini Crickets!” erupted Hu who merely spoke that which was on all our Mind’s: “Enuff z’nuff about Cissy all ready! Get to the Dammed Pointe!” Francis then explained that recently he hasn’t been abel to surpress Micawber Thought’s whilst gutting & skinning Game—that when he witnesses his Self peeling the Skin off an Animal & view’s the muscles & fats & tendons & sinews thereby revealed he cannot help but feel that he’s butchering a Fellow Humanoid Being or strangely even his own Self. For when he survey’s his own Body & Limbz & gases upon the various Mussels & Vanes4 he start’s perceiving his own Self as just an Other Peace of Meet5 akin to the One he’s cutting up—in short, he is reminded that he is but a Walking Cadavre. And were he to stick his Carving Knife in his own Torsoe similar Entrail’s & Organ’s would slide out just as they do when he gut’s an Animal. And this Thought dissies him & makes him ill moore mentally then physickally but moor then a little physickally as well. As we the all of us interlocuted this we tried to be as sympathetickal as possible affirming that from a Certain Perspective we could see where he was coming from but that he was just overthinking Thing’s a thadd too much was all this was a Case of. “That’s precisely it!” replyed Francis. “I’m overthinking Thing’s! But as is the Case with any One who overthink’s Thing’s merely telling them to stop overthinking Thing’s ain’t of Zeroe Help! Why I my Self I used to be abel to just shut my Mind off & like an Automaton just slash & carve away with my Knive’s! But I guess that little switch in my Mind has done worn down & has since stopped functioning & this Boucher’s Boy is done plumb worn out! And I here by declare that I am heretofour retired from the Arte of Boucherie from now on & for ever moor!” And with this he unsheathed his Knife, flung it to the Earth, swivelled his Back unto us, & walked away at Rapiduous Pace. As per usual we knew not weather to take him in serious or not or if he was just yanquing on our Proverbial Chainz as he is some Time’s prone to do. But despite our Protestantism’s he refused to filette our Quarry so East Broadway along with Daniel bouchered the Stagg in his stead. While all the while Francis just kind of hovered on the Outskirt’s by his Self looking all forlourn ofttime’s pausing & looking down at his upturned Palms as if they was Straunge Instrument’s totally foreign to him, pour retch. After the Beast had been bouchered we then proceeded on a bit further till encamping for the Nite in a smallish valley where the Meet was fried up & we had a most Hardy Dinar of it. The Corpse of coerce started to give Francis some Grief when they saw him eating of the Vennison with moore then sufficient relish to which he retorted, “But it look’s different when it’s cooked!” We made about Twentey Anglickan Myle’s werth of Progression this Day, a rather worm6 day at that partley cloudy with intramittent Wind.
[Crandall] Windsday the 21st of July, 1802
We left our Encampment an Hour or so after Don & proceeded on strait to the Eastword’s a Lite Reign7 continuating thru out the Mourning. ’Twas our first Reign in some Time & it felt most refreshing all tho it was a thadd trickey trying to keep all our Supplies dry for in the afternoone the Reign picked up in Density & Velocity till we had to pause neath some o’erhanging Rocks which lent unto us only a Modicumb of Shelter. Thunder as well as Zeus’s Lightening Bolts could then be heard slash seen & the Hole Thing was quiet soleraking8. But then the Rein’s soddenly abated & the Skye quickley clarified & remained that Way the Remains of the Day. Continuating on we encamped on the Heighth’s of a Hill which afforded some Tree Coverage but as we was setting up our Encampment with little to no Pryor Notice in rushed a Greyish Bear which thanx be to the Aeternal Godz did not see fit to pounce upon any of us but rather on a Pile of Animal Hydes which had been left in a Lump upon the Ground along with some Red Bandanas. And as the Beast struggled with these Unanimated Object’s flinging them in the Ayre Willy Nelly9 all it’s Attention’s locked upon this Loose Affiliation of Item’s which it must of mistook for Pray10 we ordured the Men to raze11 their Rifle’s & upon the Count of Sixx we discharged all our Fyre Armz at the selfsame Time at it, with the Caviat that we should all Aim for the Head. The Bare’s Head exploded in a Fine Myst of Crimson like a Ripe Water Melan struck by a Sledge Hammer & it collapsed to the Earth like a Large Laundry Bagg full of wet clothes. But yet upon further Inspection as we trod up to it we found that it yet possessed Breadth12 & it’s Limbz begun to twitch & even make Motion’s like it was trying to get up despite the Fact that it’s Head was ostensibly Pulp. “Grate Seizure’s13 Salad!” exclamated Hu. “These Thingz is like Coqueroche’s! Accept14 where as Coqueroche’s is small these is Big! And where as Coqueroche’s is Insect’s this is not an Insect but a… a… what’s the Word?!” “Mammallion!” ejackulated Daniel Kaye joyfully. “A Mammillion!” Hu ejackulated in return. “Yes that’s the Werd! Thank you, Daniel! A thrice godzblessed Mammallion is what it is & not no Insect not by an Anglickan Myle! But yet what they have in commune is Persistance. Persistence, godz dammit! Yes, Persistence & Spunk but also a Cursed Way of all way’s turning up unannounced when you least want them!” Hu I sware was foaming at the Mouth as he uddered this, spiddel a-flying so in ordure to shut him up I took the Initiative to thrust my Sabre in to the Beast’s Harte which finished the Business fourthwidth. The Men then called upon the Kaye’s to fillett it fourthwidth either forgetting that Francis had renounced his Trade or else trying to egg him on but he said he had said all there had to be said Yester Day & that his Bouchering Day’s was over & done with End of Storey. I must say that I completely sympathised with Francis’s Newfound Antipathology15 to bouchering Animalia for I too have engaged in Similar Thought’s much along the Selfsame Line’s as he has expressed which is why I am happy to have Other’s do the proverbial Dirty Werk. The Dirty Werk in this Case was done by Danielle Kaye along with our Warrior Poet Delancey while mean while Francis sat there with his Back turned to the Carnage a largish frown writ upon his Vizage. The Meet supplied was moor then sufficient so the access16 was jerqued & we also have chosen to keep the Hyde. The Clawz & Teeth was salvaged as well to be used as personnel adornment’s. We had a late brake-fest upon the principal Organz of the Beast & seeing as how it would take some time to jerk the Meet & prepare the Hyde we opted to stay where we was the Remains of the Day. The Day being clear & the Skye’s as blue as Hades my Comred Murry & my Self decided to mount to the Top of a Highsome Hill to the North West of here which appear’s to have a Bald Rocky Topp which from which we hoped to gain a Comprehensible View of the Surrounding Turraine. But we took Delancey & Essex with us for Fear of encountering more Greyish Bare but thankfully zeroe Greyish Bare did we encounter, & upon safely reaching the Top of the Hill we were correct in thinking that it would afford us a comprehensive View, for we could see farsomely in all Directionalities. To the Westword’s the Land continuated pleasauntly variegated with Hill’s & Smallish Montaignes, some rugged & rocky while Other’s was rounded & tree-encovered. But the Thing most notable was a rather large Lake Seven, Eight, or may be even as many as Nine Anglickan Mile’s away. And near unto it’s Banks some Wisp’s of Smoke arose in to the Aether, obviously an Autochthonickal Hamlette which we immediately planned to pay a Visitation to on the Marrow. And returning unto our Humbelle Encampment we then sent out more Hunters & not but an Hour later they came back dragging the Cadaver’s of a Dough & a Fawne both of their Tong’s lolling out, pour retches. We remained unmolested thru out the Nite having come perhap’s Twentey Anglickan Miles this Day which according my Calculation’s is the Twentieth Day of Julie17.
[Crandall] Thorsday the 22nd of July, 1802
We all slept latesomely & over Brakefest my Cumradd Murrie & me deliberated the best approach to the Autochthonickal Village & as per usual we decided to dispatch a Party unto it consisting of my Self, GSW, Cutler, & Gone while the rest of the Corpse hung back in ordure to swerve18 as Back Up should we find our Self’s in a Provincial Skrape19. We then proceeded on toward’s the Lake we’d espied yesterday which lay to the North East several Mile’s, & tramping thru the Woodz we came unto the Shorez of the Lake much sooner then we’d anticipated, finding our Selve’s all most directly apposite20 the Village which could be envisioned across the Other End of the Watery Expense21 perhap’s one Anglickan Mile away or even less. Utilising my Telexskope I could see that this Village differed from Other Autochthonickal Enclaves we’d encountered thus far in that the Structure’s which they’d erected appeared to be made up of sizeable Pine Logg’s which was starkley angular with triangle’s & rectangle’s predominant while according to my Previous Experience Autochthonickal Dwelling’s tend to favour the Ovel. Additionally they were notabley larger than any of those we’d heretofour come across with the acception of the Natiramases of coarse. Agreeing on a previously agreed upon cignal the Four of us began to walk round the circonferance of the Lake which we saw was fed by a Stream to the West. After but an Half Hour we proceeded on to the Glade where the Habitations was with Coltier & GSW out front in ordure with their Femininenity to tamp down any Rash Reaction’s & the first Inhabitants we encountered was some Bambini & also some Elderz, who appeared most surprised to see us & some of the Kidz ran off screaming while the Elderz stared & gabbled with one another. GSW hearing some of their Verbiage emanating from out of their Mouth’s said it sounded to her kind of like her Native Tong so she spoke unto them. And in Deed there must of been some sort of kinship betwixt their Idiom’s for they commenced to Converse at no meagre Length. They appeared most agitated as did the Other’s standing around gawking so I axxed Gunne to stryde froward & stryke up a Song (sans singing tho for his Voice since the Phishbone Incident has become an aquired Taste to say the absolut least now sounding chthonick as Hades) thinking that Musick has a wonderfull way of soothing perturbed Soles provided the Tune is a gentile & lilting One. And just after he had begun doing so some Folk emerged from several of the Habitations & to my Horrour they shouted & grabbed pour Gonne & carried him off to the largest Habitation. As he was husseled away he looked at me most pitifully as if axxing what he should do, put up a Fight or what, but with so many Werdz & Gesture’s I cignallised unto him that he should not resist. None of the rest of us by the Way was in any way molestated, so turning unto GSW who was still engaged in Heeted Conversationalism with several of the Autochthones I attempted to get in a Werd edgewise, which was no Facile Tasque. Finally she was abel to disengage her Self away from her Interlocutor’s at least long enuff to say that these People seamed to have Commune Ancestour’s with her People but communication was some what difficult do22 to pronunciation difference’s & some intravening Mutation’s in Grammatix. Additionally that they had nabbed Gun because they wanted to make him Sovereign of their Nation or at least afford him the Opportunitie of being Sovereign of their Nation if their One Lonely Deity smiled upon him that is. This of coarse was completely mystifying & I knew not weather to be gladdsome at this Turn of Event’s or in Stead fearfull. Eventually the Parley betwixt GSW & the Autochthone’s thankfully flagged & the Visages of the Autochthone’s gradually sweetening we was led not to the same Habitation as Gone but an Other One adjacent to it a bit more diminutive in size but yet impressive none the less, for around the Doorway there was exquisitely wrought carvings of Flower’s interentwined while inside we found an airey vaulted Hall where all appeared to live in a State of Communalism. Two docen Bed’s lined the Wallz, one docen on the ground Level while a second level accessible by two sets of ladders on each End furnished the Rest of the Beds while in the middle of the Room was a largish Fire Pitt. All those inside gathered toward’s us in deliberative Manure not at all threatening & they immediately showed us to our Beds upon the Second Level & begun to ply us with all Manure23 of Baked Goodz & Nutt’s & Barry’s, &c., &c. Which we partook of not so much because we was hungary (for we had dined on the Other Shore of the Lake before setting out) as much as we wanted to maintain the Allusion24 of Agreeabiltie & Amenibilitie. I then axxed GSW if she would be so kind as to enquire what was currantly happening with our compatriot Gonne & she respondated that she had all ready questioned them as far as the Status of his General Well-Being went & they replied that we need not worry, that he was just fine & that we would be reunited with him shortley. This settled my Mind some what yet I had a gnawing missgiving that not all was okeh in the People’s Republick of Denmarque, & my Fearz was confirmed with in an Hour or Twain as the Reader shall soon see. For after we had settled in & been offered the Dainties enumerated above & also been given Big Bowel’s25 of Hot Water with which to cleanse our Self’s with (in Deed these Autochthones like the Bulk of those we’ve encountered thus farr treasure regular bathing’s as opposed to us Westerner’s who believe that one’s Natural Juices & Greases are the Best Protectorate) we was then told that if we wanted we could now go see our Friend. Of coerce we instantaneouslie agreed & we was promptly led unto the larger Habitation which possessed a Regal Triangular Frontpeace rising up into a sort of Tower. We saw that many Other’s in addition to us was also making for this Selfsame Building & when we reached the Door there was an offal lott of shoving & pushing to get inside which I thought refracted rather badly on this People’s Social More’s despite their otherwise Hospitable behaviour, for I witnessed Elderly Folks being shoved by our Ushers & every One appeared to be ruthlessly eager to get to the front with zeroe Respect for Age or Station. Yes, the Excitement was palatable as we entered yet a Grave Dred entered in to my Breastwork’s, for these People’s True Intention’s was as of yet parfectley oblique. Mean while we was slowly propelled toward’s the Other End of the Structure by our Usher’s where all the Action seamed to be but we could not accurately see for we was bereft of our Census26 in this Sea of Humanitie. Except for our Hearing—for the Hall was a Cackophonie of Voices & axxing GSW what in Hades the Fuzz27 was all about she was just abel to make out random scrap’s of Phrases such as “Can you see him, can you see him?” & “How does he measure up to our currant King of the Forest?” & “Such a short time! Only a few moone’s!” & “All is in our God’s Handz now!” And all tho not explicitly threatening there was some Thing ominess in Tenour to these Werdz which increased the Tautness of the Knott in my Stomach. Eventually we was treated to the Site28 of Gunn who thanx be to the all dispensing Deities was yet alive—& not only alive but being given the Proverbial Royale Treatment: for there he was setting in a Big Chair resembling a Throne being plyed with Food & Drink by a few Pretty Maiden’s looking as if he’d been recently bathed & also wearing a long clean woven Smock of some kind. He also had Flourer’s in his Heir29 & I must say I’d never seen him looking so spruce. I was just in the process of gesturing unto him & calling out his Name to gain his Attention when I heard a Familiar Voice shout: “Oye! Hay mucho gringacion por acqui!” And turning toward’s the Source of the Sound there our Old Friend slash Nemesis was…
Crandall’s entry continues in next week’s post…
Butchery
Invariably?
Awful
Muscles and veins
Piece of meat
Warm
Light rain
Whole thing was quite soul-wracking?
Willy-nilly
Prey
Raise, presumably.
Breath
Great Caesar’s
Except
Antipathy?
Excess
Crandall is off by a day. This is puzzling since he had the correct date at the beginning of this day’s entry.
Serve, presumably.
Proverbial scrape
Opposite
Expanse?
Due
Manner
Illusion
Bowls, presumably.
Senses
Fuss
Sight
Flowers in his hair