Murray’s account continues…
Strangely I had a vary satisfying Nite’s Sleep. And running clean contrary to Expectation’s we was given a most delicious breakfast of Bison Meet & Potatoes. We was also given a milky intoxicating Drink no doubt meant to blunt the Edge of Death. In the late Mourning we was drug out of our Hutt to the Centre of the Village where all the Rehsas was assembled doubtless to witness our Demises. The Chieftain sat there on his Hickory Throne & of coarse Cervantes—El Gordo rather—was standing next to him pouring Poisonous Wordz in to his Ear. The Crowd spread out for us & I could see sixx strapping Warrior’s holding Bows & Arrows, obviously our Executioners. El Gordo then lifted up his head & shouted, ‘Capitan Murray, the Basileos wishes you to know that his prime duty as Basileos is protecting his People! Any incursion by Foreign Power’s—especially those intent on harming his People—is not to be countenanced! He just want’s you to know that he know’s that you would do the same were you in his place!’ ‘Damm you to Hades, you lying Iberian!’ I bellowed. ‘Come now, Capitan!’ shouted El Gordo, ‘exhibit a little Dignity in Death!’ ‘Too bad the Rehsas don’t know you the way we do, Cervantes!’ I bellowed & El Gordo replied, ‘For the last Time—& I really do mean the last Time, Capitan—please call me El Gordo!’ ‘My Co-Captain Captain Crandall shall revenge me!’ I screamed & El Gordo, a smiling skeleton in the Flesh responded, ‘Crandall & the rest shall be ambushed later today & slaughtered! You shall see him soon enuff in the Underworld!’ Calmly resigning my Self to Destruction I offered no rejoinder & only thought on my Bespoken & the Future with her that wasn’t to be. A big letdown all around because all tho I expected to dye some Time on the Journey I just didn’t think it would be so soon. But El Gordo simply would not let me dye in Piece1, for he kept talking. ‘Believe me, Capitan, I did not wish it to get even this far! I tried to poison the entire Expedition by seasoning their Meet with Hecate’s Roote but the Men’s stomachs were hardier than I’d anticipated!’ So it was he who had tainted our Meet not that it made much difference now. As I watched the Warrior’s stand in a line & draw back the Strings on their Bows, I felt Zeroe Fear. For by this Time my Demise was a Fourgone Conclusion & Old News so to speak & I had quickly got used to the Ideation that I would soon be no moor. But soddenly a Form appeared before me waiving it’s Hands. It was a Yeung Mann—in Fact the vary same Autochthon we had seen on the riverbank bemoaning his Fate waring a Topp Hat & Foxx Furr. The Warrior’s yelled at him to get out of the Way but he did not & appeared to entreat them to Pause for a Moment. I my Self was annoyed with this unnecessary Delay just wanting to get Thing’s over with. But the Autochthon in the Topp Hat continuated his Harang & the Warrior’s slowly lowered their Bows & looked confusedly over at the Chieftain & El Gordo, the ladder2 of whom appeared wonderous Irate. The Chieftain then exchanged overheeted words with Old Topp Hat & their conversation waxxed ridickulously long. The other Autochthones mean while waxxed restless & agitated & then finally quite bored. They yawned & shifted their Feat as the Cheiftain & Topp Hatt deliberated about our Fate’s & even I got bored after a while. El Gordo much to my Delite looked moor & moor incommoded & angery as the confab drug on. Top Hat finally walked up to me, patted me on the Shoulder, & started to undo my Bondz while some Other Autochthonnes did the same with the Boyz. After I had been released I blinked several Time’s because all seemed unreel & when I regained my Cense3 of Place I noticed that El Gordo was no longer standing at the side of the Chieftaine. I guess I was the first to notice so I pointed & shouted ‘El Gordo! He’s escaped!’ Topp Hat interpreting my Words to his counterparts the Other Autochthones looked at Top Hat dasedly, then toward’s me & then back to the Chieftain. Who just kind of shrugged & then sent a Few Men in search of the Iberian. They later reported he had absconded with a Hoarse in they knew not which Direction. I thought that surely any Autochthon worth his Psalt4 could easily track him but I retained my Piece. For I reckoned they had probley let him get away but am unsure as to why.”
And so ends my Cumrad Mury’s account of his most momentous past Cupula5 Days. I took pleasure in thanking Topp Hat—whose Reel Name is Nahtanoj—& I fourthwidth bestowed upon him a Medallion engraved with the profile of Precedente Ian Torso, Esquire, as well as several Anglickan Pound’s of lickorish. We also invited him to Warshingtown should he get the chaunce. In Deed his knowledge of the Anglickan Tong is what saved Murray & the Other Men’s Skin’s, for it was only he amongst the Rehsa’s who understood El Gordo’s mocking words & laid bare his Trechery for all to see. I marvell as to why El Gordo would so engender6 his Mission as to use such selfdamming Wordz, but my own meagre studies of Humanoid Nature have led me to the Conclusion that the Achilles Heal of such Cleaver7 Schemers as he is that the Principle Pleasure of their Evile Schemata’s for them lie not in the Schemata them Selve’s but in the boasting about them. For who knows how many Crimes would remain secreted in the Vault’s of Time unpunished had not their perpertraitors in a moment of braggadocio bragged of their Exploits? El Gordo’s other Mistake was that he had had the Hubris to believe that either none of the Autochthones niether knew enuff Anglickan to understand him or even if they did that they would even care what happened to the Strangers they was about to execute. Nahtanoj’s words was not immediately harkened to, how ever because he is a Mann who holds but little Accreditation with his Peeple, for they think him an Odd Ball & tend to look askance at any Thing he say’s. The Reason for this is that from very Toddlerhood he has been entranced by the Ways & Manors8 of the Anglickans9 & his adopting of our Costumes10 has been no small source of Derision amongst his Country Men toward’s him. When ever Traitors11 come thru he is the first to converse with them & pump them for Information regarding Western Costumes & it is in this Way that he has less or moor mastered our Tong. Additionally a cupula Year’s ago he took a trip to a Western Settlement & expended two Day’s there just soaking it all in, a brief but Influential Tripp for him. For whilst he was there he fell in love with a yeung woman of Gallick Extraction—& from the details Nahtanoj furnished us there is little doubt she was a Prostitute. For he said she was vary friendly & froward with him & when he gave her a Beaver Pelt she petted his Thing till it spewed fourth its Mannsyrup—& that was at their vary first & only meeting. Of coarse he fell in Love with her & he say’s there’s scarcely an Hour that goe’s by that he does not think on her & some Day he’s going make it back to her & they’ll settle down & have a whole Mess of Children she & him—truly a true Romantick, pour retch. When we enquired if this was the Reason why he was so Meloncollie he said partley, but where as the Meloncholie produced by Love is kind of pleasureable there’s an Other Species of Melanchollie which plague’s him not pleasaunt at all. This ladder kind comes from the Fact that he straddles the Rehsa & Anglickan World’s & so an Inner Conflict is wranching him apart. For his Hart is Anglickan yet his Minde is yet Rehsan, but some Time’s they switch places & his Minde is Anglickan & his Hart Rehsan. In any Case he has no clearcutt Identity & yearning for the security that a Concrete Identity entail’s he still is unsure he would even except12 it were it offered to him. Quite the Quandary—but when I told him that this was the Situation of the vast Majority of Amerikaans he seamed to be pleased by this.
[Crandall] Saturnineday the 18th of September, 1800
We broke our fast upon Bison Meet & dried Barry’s, & later in the mourning my Comradd Murree & the Brother’s Kay as well as Coltier (who also happen’s to speak Rehsa) set out for the Rehsa Village once again to remeet with the Chieftaine & bestow a few Gift’s upon him & discuss a few moor partickulers concerning our Expedition in an Attempt to route13 out the Seedz of Dischord & Confusion which the Iberian had sewn. The Rehsa Warriers also returned to their Village accept for Top Hat/Nathanoj who plyed me with Numerickal Questions about my Life specifickally & our Way of Life in the West generally. He axxed me about my Sexual Hystery, & I was of coarse some what lothe to speak at any length about it while he was also hungary to know about Life in our Metropolices so I described unto him the working life of our People, the udder dreariness & monotony of the majority of Occupation’s, Sissyphously performing the same Action’s & Tasque’s all day every day as per the Dictates of the Theory of Specialisation. Hu & Eastbroadway departed for to slay us some Game & they returned not but three hour’s later proclaiming that they had slane Three Bison two Anglickan Mile’s from our Encampment. So much of the afternoone was taken up by the filletting of which along with the transportation of the Meet, while in the Evening we dined upon it & Delancey much given to Poesie composed a Poem on the Spot which run thus:
Thanx be to the Godz
For salvaging our existances
Thanx be to Top Hat
For learning his Anglicism’s
Thanx be to our Captain’s
For being such goode Husbandmens
Of our Corpses
Thanx to these Bisons
For offering their Liveses
To our energy-starved Stomaches
And thanx be to what ever
Mysterious Force it is
That undergirds & underpins
The Vast Structure
Of this Universe!
Thanx thanx
Thanx thanx
Thanx thanx thanx!
Top Hat was quite pleased by this bit of doggerelle & begged to hear it againe & againe, for no doubt it contained some strange Centiment’s which pleased him by their vary Noveltie & also his Vanity may of played a roll since he had been named by name in the Poem. Murry & Company did not return this Nite but that was all according to plan.
[Murray]
Set-off after break-fast to return to the Rehsa-Village with the Kayes & Coulter & several of the Rehsa Warriors who came back with us last-night. Reached the Village by mid-afternoon & the Chieftain (Uase) met us with many signs of Friendliness. We dined on hare-meat & then sat down with the Chieftain & smoaked a few Cigarette’s. Starting to get the hang of this New-Habit & can now enact it sans coughing. I believe it is a health-full Habit since I can tell that the smoke kill’s the agents of illness lurking in my Lungz & sends the blood to vigorouslie pump up in-to my Head. The Chieftain said unto me as we sat smoking together: “Sorry about all-most executing you. We didn’t know any better. And as you can see it’s not easy being a Leader. Lot’s of conflicting-information coming at one all-most all the Time. It’s hard to know who to trust & what line of action to take. Any-way, I’m sure you can commiserate.” Replied that in-deed I could. Gave the Chieftain a Medallion with the profile of Pres. Torso on it & also a commemorative Knife with our National-Byrd on it14. The Chieftain said he was much-obliged. When I encouraged him to strike a Truce with the Other-Tribes here-about’s he said he was not adverse to the Idea but that it of-course depended on the attitude of the Other-Tribes. The Nad’s whose country lies directly-adjacent to the East have been partickerlarly trouble-some of late. They survive-off the same herds of Bison & when their Young-Men chance to encounter each-other Unfortunate-Incidents tend to occur. “The main-problem is the paradigms of masculinity which exist in our Culture,” remarqued the Chieftain. “Even the slightest-insult must not be countenanced. One’s Insulter must be confronted & either Death or Dis-Memberment is the eventual-outcome.” I replied that may-be Fixed-Boundaries to their Territories might be the Answer adjudicated by the Amerikan-Gov’t. But the Chieftain once-againe said that he was not adverse to the Idea but that of-course it all depended on the Nads, who are a wondrous-fractious, restless People. After supping Gonne15 played on his Guitar for the Rehsa’s & Coultier & I did a Jigg which delighted the Autochthone’s wondrous-much. As I sat resting after my daunce a long line of Autochthones formed to come touch my Hair. Found it comickal at first but then it got annoying. These Rehsas as a whole are tall & the men grow Beards which they only cut but once a Year. The Womyn go-about bear-shouldered yet are very-modest. They practice good hygenicks warshing their-selves all-most every-day. They even cleanse their Teeth with small-brushes which is a Habit wondrous-strange. They do not possess money for all Commerce is done by swapping that for this & this for that. Which is usual amongst the Auto-Chthones. They relieve their-selves vast distance’s from their Village, some-times as far as an Anglickan-Mile. The way they measure Time is complicated & disorderly, partley based on the Menses of their Womyn. They only believe in One God who sit’s up in the Heaven’s alone constantly watching & judging their Every-Move. Expended the Night with-in the Chietain’s Habitation as Honoured-Guest’s which is quite the Reversal of Fortune.
Illustration by Mark Cousin
Peace
Latter
Sense
Salt
Couple of
Endanger?
Clever
Manners, presumably.
Anglickan here denotes any non-Autochthon, including Amerikans.
Customs?
Traders
Accept
Root
One of these commemorative knives with the hilt in the form of a vulture now sits in the Imperial Museum of Amerikan History in Warshingtown while two more sit in the Imperial Museum in Moskow.
Neither Crandall nor Murray earlier mention Ellston Gonne going to the Village.