[Murray] Fry-Day the 11th of Septembre, 1800
The Men’s Stomach’s having sufficiently-improved we set-out after Sun-Rise. Our only food is Travel-Wafers & Dried-Fruits since the Wild-Life in these Regions seems to be enimickal to our Digestion’s. We passed a Small-River on the northern-side about 10 Anglickan-Miles from yester-nite’s encampment-site which we called Stomachs-Better River because the Men’s Stomachs really do feel wondrous-much better. After having traversed 25 Anglickan-Mile’s worth of River this Day we encamped on the south-side. And it was after Dinner that Sergeant Hu accosted my Co-Capt. Capt. Crandall & me axing to have a private-word with us. He then commenced to reveal that he harboured Serious-Suspicion’s that some-one has been pilfering from our Stores. For the number of Travel-Wafer’s allotted to each Man does not gyve with the amount remaining. Plus some-one has been dipping in-to the Licorish. Who-ever it is is not only flying in the Face of Militaristick-Protocol but also good Breeding & will elicit prompt-punishment from us once we discover who the Sneak-Thief be. We most especially have our Eyes upon Cervantes since he is the Cook & be-sides Crandall & me is the only-other one who possesses regular-access to the Hold. We instructed Hu to maintain an Egret’s-Eye upon Cervantes or who-e’er else might be venturing-down into the Hold & report back to us should he see some-thing worth the reportage of.
[Crandall] Saturnday the 12th of Septembre, 1800
This Mourning as we sat partaking of our costumary Cupp or Twain of Coffey Hu strode up & enformed us that Daniel Kaye, who had been on the last shift of Gard Dutie last Nite along with his Twin Franz had reported unto him a Strange Thing he had seen. For he could of sworn he saw a Humane Form emerge from the Hold moore like a Spectre then a Mann the Nite being a darksome one & the Form being but a Shadow. Daniel being the Progeny of back country Illiterate’s was filled with Fear thinking it to be an Evile Spirit of some sort & did not dare accost it but just stared on in mute paralysis till it slowly sank back down in to the Hold of Reason. He then with the aide of his Twin Franz went down to inspect the Hold but they found no One, which of coarse only increased their Suprastitious Dred. Summoning Daniel unto us to hear his own Account of what had transpired the moor we quissed him about it the moor strange & contradictory waxxed his Testimoney. For when we at first axxed him if he could supply any specific physickal detail’s about this Ghostley Visitor he reiterated that it had been terribley darksome & it basically amounted to an Ebony Blobb but yet inmistakabley Humanoid for all that. But then when he was telling us about it’s Movements he mentioned that it had big Hands with the longest of Fingarz with curled Claws at the Ends plus it seamed to be sniffing around for some Thing perhap’s Mann Flesh with it’s long Snout. When axxed if he realised he was contradictating his Self in saying this since he had just got thru stating that he had been unabel to descry any of the Thing’s Features he said that it was now just coming back to him & that the act of talking about it was bringing Thing’s in to clearer View. And when we axxed him if he was sure that this Creature what ever it was had retreated back in to the Hold he said he was absolutely sure but then he begun to all most immediately hedge & say that now that he thought about it he seamed to remember it had done so but that just as he was about to go get his Brother Franz he saw it reemerge & then float up in to the Nite Skye. ’Twas selfevident unto us that this Encounter was but pure Phantasy owing to the susceptibility of the Subject’s Weak Mind & the darksomeness of the Nite. In spite of this we decided that Caution was best & so we ordured our Sargents to set two extra Watch Men hidden on the Deck of Reason tonite in the hopes of catching this Shadowy Culprit who doubtless doe’s not exist. We embarked appreciabley after Donne1, the wind against us, a crisp clear day with plentifull Game to be espied on each side of us but we declined from murthering it for fear of a recurrence of Indigestion, & in Deed the Animals as if censing this piered2 down at us from on High with what could be construed as Haughty Insolance. Additionally today we had our first citing3 of an Autochthon whom we o’ertook as he rode his Hoarse slowly alongst the banks of the River, looking pensive & fourlourn, not at all alarumed by our presence nor even interested in it. But at the first we did not take him for an Autochthon for he wore a Topp Hat of Western make (no doubt acquired through Traitors4) & a fox pelt was wrapped about his Shoulder’s much in the same fashion of that of rich elderly Matrons in our Metropolises out West. Once we got closer we haled him in the traditional way Autochthones having of signalising their Pacifick Intention’s which is to tugg enthustiastickally upon one’s Ear Loebs, but he seemed to apprehend us not. It was only when we was far past that he shouted in the Rehsan Tong5 translated for us by Coultier, “How can I free my Self from this Cancer of the Soul? Tell me, O my God!” evidently labouring under Hart Ache’s too heavy to bare6, pour retch. Despite the inocuous deportment of this Autochthon we warned the men to be hypervigilante since we have most definitely passed into Autochthonickal Zones. But we encountered no other Autochthone’s this day & encamped on the eastern tip of a large island which we call Melancholick Autochthon Island having come Thirty One Anglickan Myles this Day.
[Crandall] Sonneday the 13th of September, 1800
Our Watch Men reported no suspicious activity last Nite but we shall continue keeping two men on Reason during the Nite for the Time being just to be certain. We embarked at Son Rise with no wind to speak of, & it ’twas no doubt do7 to this lack of wind that entire clouds of Gadflies appeared & was especially troublesome to the Men thru out the Mourning. By noon the Men had rivulets of Blood running from their Scalps, Fasces8, & Backs, pour retches, so we elected to stop & we covered our Selves in Mudd as protection from these Cursed Insects which in our Mind’s should be made to drink Hemlock just like their Name’s Sake9. What a site we made all covered o’er in Muck as we was appearing to be misshapen half formed Creatures arising out of the Earth yet it enacted the Proverbial Trick. Opting to take a walk alongst the Bank on the North Side of the River in the afternoone I found that the land has become predominantly Plane & the grass near Knee level all tho there are still patches of Forest here & there. In the far distance I could espy an undulating conglomeration of black which I took to be a Horde of Bison’s. I considered calling on some of our Hunters to shoot a few but the Mamory10 of the Orgy of Diahrea which we had experienced a Few Day’s past held me in cheque. Soddenly I herd gun fire & distant cries & saw that a hunting party had decended on the Horde of Bison, undoubtedley Autochthones & most probabley Rehsa’s who inhabit these Planes & who deal in Bison Tongue, which they trade for Fire Arms & Pouter11 which gives them an Advantage amongst their Rivals. We shall have to meet with their Chieftains sooner or later but I thought now not an opportune time, so I made my way back to Reason & conferred with my Comrade Muray about how & when we should make first contact with the Rehsas. Knowing that one of their principle Villages lies just up the Lesser Great River, whose mouth must be fifty Anglickan Miles or so on the north side, we agreed that we would send a Delegation there upon reaching said Mouth with the usual Gifts & Orations. We encamped on the south side of the river on a vast sandbar, the Men complaining much at the lack of Animal Flesh saying they can feel their Mussels12 diminishing. Coultier protested in that alto voice of his that he has been this Far East before & had partaken freely of the Game & had experienced no such Gastrick Problem’s. The other Men also protested that our Theory that the Beasts roundabouts eat a plant inimical to our Digestive systems is holy13 unfounded but Morry & my Self staunchly stated that we shall eat no local meat till a more convincing Theorum has been propounded. We journeyed a Grande Totale of Thirtey Four Anglickan Miles today which is none too shabbey in my Book despite the Men’s claims of loss of Mussel Mass.
[Murray] Moone-Day the 14th of September, 1800
No sign of the so-called Spirit last-nite but some-one is still pilfering Travail-Wafer’s. Embarked at sun-rise. The Men complain wondrous-much from the want of Meat. They say their muscles is on the wane. No wind againe to-day so we encaked our-selves in Mud to protect our-selves from the wondrous-troublesome Gad-Flies. My Co-Captain Captain Crandall & my-self & Pvts. Delancey & Essex & Heraclitus14 journeyed to a high-hill 6 or 7 Anglickan-Miles away on the south-side of the Great-River. After ascending this Hill we named it Maggie’s Hill in honour of my Bespoken whom I hope to wed upon my Return. To attain an even greater-view I ascended a Tree & saw distant Smoak on the north-side, probley from the Rehsa-Village. Vast Herd’s of Bison too. Spoke to my Little-Maggie in my Mind as I sat there in the Tree. Told her I love her & that all-tho a wondrous-great Expanse may seperate us she is closer to me then my own-self. I am only afraid that my parting words to her were unintentionally-vague. For I have mis-givings that she understood me as giving tacit permission for her to take a Lover during my absence. Fester with jealousie at the thought. Found the Men encamped on the south-side of the river. Journeyed 22 Anglickan-Miles this day. Crandall took an Astro-Lab reading this night & recorded our Coordinate’s in our Coordinate-Booke15.
[Murray] Twos-Day the 14th of September, 1800
Last-night we was awakened by the barking of Heracles. Evidentally he espied some-thing on the outer-skirts of our encampment & pursued it. He returned some-minute’s later with a scrap of Plaid-Fabric which he had ripped-off of some-one or some-thing. The Plaid-Fabric comes not from the Clothing of any of our Men nor from the Supplies on Reason. Coultier also said plaid is not worn among the Autochthones. For they don’t like Plaid & never fail to reject it when haggling. They say it hurt’s their Eyes & gives them the Head-Ache. No-doubt it was left-behind by a Trapper or a Trader. Left shortly-after Dawn & proceeded-on up that Mother-of-All-River’s the Great-River. Met some Rapids in the early-afternoon & were obliged to tow Reason. The Men still complain of not being fed Animal-Flesh. As for my-self I feel more energetick on this Vegetable-Diet. Now when I said to Maggie that I didn’t want to hear about any in-disgressions she committed while I was gone what I meant was that I didn’t want her to commit any in-disgressions, not that she could do so provided she not re-count them to me. Numerous Bison standing by the banks of the river but we shot none because of the Ban on Meat. The Men remark we could make a Fortune on Bison-Tung but that is not our stated Mission16. Gad-Flies still wondrous-troublesome. We stopped to dine on a Sand-Bar & Delancey & Essex tried their hand at angling. They caught 2 large Eel’s which they roasted over the fire. They said the Eel’s made average-eating. We proceeded-on up the River & met the mouth of the Lesser-Great River at around sun-down. To-morrow we intend to journey up this river to the Rehsa-Village. Encamped just up-stream from the mouth of the Lesser-Great River & more men tried angling but was un-sucsessfull. My Co-Capt. Captain Crandall under his usual-spell of Melancholie. Came 21 Anglickan-Mile’s this day.
[Murray] Wens-Day the 15th of September, 1800
This day we remained encamped to make contact with the Rehsa’s. My-self & Cervantes & Sgt. Hu & the Kaye Bros. made up the initial Delegation while my Co-Capt. Capt. Crandall & the other Men stayed-behind with Reason. Cervantes served as our Interpater for he is well-versed in the Rehsa Tung as is Coultier. Walked some miles up the Lesser-Great River. Expansive Prairie-Land’s on each-side. We met some Rehsa-Womyn bathing in the River & they took fright then took flight. Before-long 3 mounted Rehsa-Warrior’s came into sight a-head of us. Telling the Other’s to fall-back I stripped & met the 3 Rehsas naked, as per Auto-Chthonickal custom. For a Naked-Man is wondrous-vulnerable & there-fore comes in Peace. Also tugged upon my Earz. The Rehsas appeared un-afraid & when they reached me hopped off their Steeds. They made much of my Dark-Skin & touched in bemusement my Hair. Evidentally I am the first Black-Man they have set Eye’s upon. One Rehsa licked his finger & then applied it to my skin attempting to rub the colour off & I had to stifle a laff. Cervantes told the Warriors in Rehsa that we come from the United-States & we wished to have a discussion with their Chieftain. The Warrior’s appeared amenable to this & bade us re-don our clothes. We walked several miles up-river & reached the Village in the After-Noon. It is a village of some 500 soul’s by my Guess. The Inhabitants dwell in circular-huts decorated with curious Illustration’s depicting Naked-People, Snakes, Apples, Water-Kraft crammed with Wilde-Life, &c., &c. Many dogs & children running-about. All seemed friendly & we sensed no Danger being amongst these People. We was immediately ushered to the Head-Chieftain’s hut. He was a venerable Old-Man with a full Grey Beard & a Mullet bedecked with long Grey Lockes. He bade us sit so we sat. Axed us what our business was here & we told him. Told him we came from the United-States of Amerika. That way far-away in a Huge-Village called Warshingtown our Great Head-Chieftain Ian Torso lives & that it was he who had sent us. That it was our Ambition that all the Autochthonickal People’s live in Peace & Amitie. That additionally we hoped to establish vast Conduit’s of Trade to every-one’s mutual-benefit. That a New Age of Peace & Prosperity was about to ensue. “A grand Dream, a nobel Dream,” the Chieftain replied offering us a Cigarette. It was my first time smoking such a Device & I coughed wondrous much & the Chieftain & his hangers-on chuckled. “If our Neighbour’s want Peace, we want Peace too,” the Chieftain said. “But I am an Old-Man & I need my sleep.” With that we was ushered to our guest-huts & fed on Stag-Meat & Wild Rasp-Berries. Instructed the Kayes Bros. & Hu to divide Guard-Duties during the Nite despite feeling it probley being un-necessary.
Illustration by Mark Cousin
Dawn
Peered
Sighting, presumably.
Traders, presumably.
Tongue
Bear, presumably.
Due
Faces
Crandall is of course referring to Socrates here, who because of his method of constant questioning called himself a gadfly.
Memory
Powder
Muscles
Wholly
Herakles, presumably.
This coordinate book has been lost.
What Murray means here is that although one of the stated goals of the Expedition was to develop conduits of trade with the Autochthones, that did not mean that individual members of the Expedition were allowed to enrich themselves financially. In the years after the Crandall and Murray Expedition the trade in bison tongue brought about the animal’s extinction. We now know that the purported health benefits which bison tongue was believed to impart were a prime example of the Placebo Effect.