"He abhour’s bourgeois-life & all it’s dull-domesticities..."
May 31-June 22, 1802
[Murray] Fry-Day the 31st of May, 1802
Up & down, down & up all of the Day. Lot’s of stumbeling because of the Corpse’s Weaknesse plus the dis-evenness of the Terrain. At-time’s there is no snow but that ain’t no consolation ’cuz the Rock’s consist of numerickal grey Shard’s which slip away under one’s Sole’s like docen’s of little Banana-Peele’s. And many was the Time that a Corpse-Member slipped & fell directly upon his Arse to-day. But none of the Other’s who in normal-times would of made many a Jest did not utter so much as a Syllable. For Mirth has been tossed out the Window & all is Grimm-Silence. Must of come no-more than 15 Anglickan-Miles this Day.
[Murray] Saturn-Day the First-Day of June, 1802
Started to wax wondrous-grey to-day during the morning. And then the Wind waxed fource-full as Hades & there was a drop in temperture which converted our Sweat in-to Ice. We was about ready to die I tell you. But we persevered-on, our Pace pitifully-slow. Until in mid-afternoone we reached a Giant Rock which proffered some meagre protection from the Element’s so we sheltered beneath it. And thus we expended the Nite there in that Place & the Wind howelled & we huddled all together under our Bison-Robe’s partaking of what meagre Food-Stuff’s we still had left. We must of come I don’t know may-be 12 Anglickan-Miles at maximum this Day.
[Murray] Sun-Day the 2nd of June, 1802
Our Watch-Men awoke me & my Co-Capt. Captain Crandall some-where round-about 2 am to tell us that they had been witnesses to some wondrous-weird Noisesomeness. We could not discern it at-first but once we perked-up our Earz & ventured a little further-out from the rest of the Corpse we could detect a lonesome sort of wailing. It did not require an Eisenstein to infer that ’twas no-thing more then the Wind whistling through the Cragg’s. So we bade our Watch-Men hit the sack pre-emptorarily for we could see that the Environment along with this Day’s Exertion’s was distorting their Sense’s. For they had insistated that it was Wordz the Windz was whispering. But when we axed what exactly they had been saying they could not enform us. And my Co-Capt. Captain Crandall & me then sat us down to keep watch as long as we could which turned-out to be the Remainder of the Night. And a most plesaunt Night we had of it wrapped-up in our Bison-Robes there under the Star’s. We discussed the deep-disappointment we felt at not having discovered the Trans-Continental Conduit. Crandall is taking it harder than me tho. We’re also worried that we have veered far too far to the south-ward’s & shall end-up in Iberian-Territorey. Our discussion then veered toward’s other-matter’s. He still don’t quite seem to believe that I am not the Father of Jean’s up-coming Childe for he queried me for a little-while about it in probing-manner. But I think he has finally taken my Word-For-It. We then got talking about what we fore-see for our-selves should we be so lucky as to out-last this Trip. Said I saw my-self either marrying my Bespoken & setting up a dry-good’s shoppe or else living-out the Rest of my Life as a bachelour gentileman-farmer if she had proved un-true to me during my Longish Abcence. He said that his main-course of Business once we got back would be to see to the Collating of our Samples & the Correcting of our Record’s & the publishing of our Journal’s. But beyond that he could see no fore-seeable Future for his-self. Axed him if he thought he might get hitched & start a Family & he said it was highly doubt-full. For he abhour’s bourgeois-life & all it’s dull-domesticities. Choosing furniture, debating about what to have for Dinner, &c., &c. But on that note he said it was hubristick to talk of such Thing’s for we shall most probabley perrish in these here Mountainz any-way’s. And of-course in saying-so there was still a Portion of him that hoped in the saying of it that it would some-how magickally ward-off just such a Fate. But yet we had better look Death strait in the Face. For as per the Dictate’s of Kleosiddarthos one had better practice dying every-day so that when the real-test come’s one shall not be found wanting. You’ve got to train for it like a professional athlete basickally1. But it’s wondrous-hard to do-so because we seem by Nature to be inclined to think we deserve to live for-ever. That we’re some-how entitled to it. So when even the slightest of Threat’s intrudes we wax anxious as Hades & angry with the Deities. But can’t help but think that daily-habituation to Non-Existence as per the Dictate’s of Kleosiddarthos some-how takes a lot of the Delite out of Life. That it subtiley inculcate’s a kind of gloomy-pessimism & mis-anthropey in one which is why I tend to take another Tack & try & forget that Death even exist’s. Just plunge for-ward with Thing’s & to not give up Hope till my Last-Breath. Crandall said that such a Tactick may very-well work for one such as I who is on the whole a healthy, balanced Speciman of Humanitie. Where-as as for self-gnawing one’s such as him it’s an Impossibilitie. Any-way said Crandall as Kleosiddarthos says Self-Deception is the key to a Healthy-Psyche2, as evidenced in both of our Two Approaches. We debated these Matter’s till a dullish-glow arose in the East heralding a New-Day. The Men soon stirring we soon got going & trudged thru the Snow all of the Day. The Ground was at-times not snow-covered but populated with the same loose shards which gave-way most treacherouslie beneath our Feet. We see no Game & be-side’s some randomized-clumps of various-coloured Mosses no Vegetation worth the writing of an Epistle home about. Additionally no Auto-Chthone’s appear to in-habit these Regions so in-hospitable it is to Man. The Skin upon some of the Men’s Face’s is peeling due to the vehemency of the Sun & the fierceness of the Wind. Encamped after having trekked about 20 Anglickan-Mile’s this day. Your’s-Truly was wondrous-weary by Day’s-End for I had stupidly stayed-up half the Night with my Co-Captain Captain Crandall as noted above.
[Murray] Moon-Day the 3rd of June, 1802
Trudged on-ward’s starting at Dawn. Had to traverse the Edge of a wondrous-steep Precipice in the mid-morning. Before attempting to do so tho we lashed our-selves to one-another. Glad we did so for Essex lost his Balance & was like to tumble-down in-to a bottom-less Abyss, & Francis Key along-with him. But their down-ward’s Progress was checked by the combined-weight of the Rest of Us. The Terraine is made up of Hordes of loose-shard’s of rock which give-way with every-step as if they were purposely placed there to trip us up. Essex & Francis dangled there for a while before we fished them up. You should of seen the Look’s on their Faces: at-first frozen in mute-horrour & then commencing to flail about with such abandon that it made our Rescue-Efforts wondrous-difficult. Francis’s tri-corn dis-engaged it’s-self from his Head while he flailed-about & it wafted down-ward’s into the Chasm, caught by various Currants of Aire, swooping that way & this like a Bird on the wing till it waxed smaller & smaller & dissolved in-to the general-vagueness below. Continuating on our Way we got past this treacherous stretch & forged-thru snow-covered slash shard-covered Ground. All are tired, anxious, & wondrous-hungry. Encamped after having had journeyed may-be about 17 Anglickan-Miles this Day.
[Murray] Twos-Day the 4th of June, 1802
A wondrous-miserable Day. Much Exertion. Running-low on food. Our path-way waxes more & more treacherous. Foot-ware dis-integrating. Jean looking pekid as Hades. Came 15 Anglickan-Miles to-day.
[Murray] Whens-Day the 5th of June, 1802
Same as yester-day. But this time we only made about 12 Anglickan-Mile’s at the outer-most.
[Murray] Thors-Day the 6th of June, 1802
Food depleted & we look so ragged & fatigued that were one to put up a Mirrour in-front of us we would melt in self-pity for our-selves. Came only may-be 10 Anglickan-Mile’s to-day.
[Murray] Fry-Day the 7th of June, 1802
All perspective has been lost & our Instrument’s fail us. For when we round a Large-Rock we are presented with a Scene that we could sware we had just passed. My Co-Captain Capt. Crandall & my-self must pause often to confer. But our Word’s is slurred & our Thinking wondrous-muddled. The Men dis-spirited. Zero-Ideation how far we came to-day.
[Murray] Saturn-Day the 8th of June, 1802
Same as yester-day.
[Murray] Sun-Day the 9th of June, 1802
This morning about an hour after setting-out we espied the foot-prints of an Humanoid in the Snow. We was sure they did not belong to any of us for it’s path intra-sected our’s. It was a most well-come sight & we immediately started to follow it. For whom-ever they belonged to must be possessed of Knowledge of these Region’s. And what’s-more they could lead us back to their People where there would be sure to be Food & Shelter, &c., &c. The Trax was not all-together Fresh but we followed them any-way. Their Route appeared eccentrick & considerable was the Men’s enthusiasm in the following of the Trax of this Name-less Stranger as if installing New-Life in-to them. But as the day-light waxed we had to leave-off our Pursuit & encamp for the Night. Came may-be 20 Anglickan-Mile’s this day but like I said they was wondrous-circuitous.
[Murray] Moone-Day the 10th of June, 1802
Proceeded-on with much enthusiasm every-body assuming that the Possessour of these Foot-Prints would be our Salvager. Intent-on meeting-up with him this very-day, with manick-energie’s we traversed the snowey-ridge’s in pursuit of this Name-Less Person who had come to mean so much to us. For with our food-store’s now nearly at naught & our weariness at a premium we was lusting after all the comfort that Auto-Chthonickal Hospitality could afford. Some-time’s the Trax waxed a little erratick subtiley betraying in their zagging & zigging a sort of Indecision or Drunkenness. But they was also waxing fresher so excellerating our Pace in the early after-noon we finally met with the One we had been pursueing. He sat in the Snow facing us in Hindustany-Style with his Leggs crossed. To our amasement he was near-naked sitting there in the Snow & we called-out to him & waved our Hand’s in the Aire in greeting but he did not respond. And as we neared near him we could see there was a slight drifting of snow about his Leggs & lower-torso which was a Dead give-away. To make the Truth even more self-apparent we also saw that there was a thin-glase of Ice enconvering him & even some tiny ice-sickles which dangled from his Nose & Chin. His Eye’s which was still open had a wondrous-thin film of Ice upon them as-well their seeing-day’s decidedly-over. He was a Guy may-be 20 Years-of-Age, bearded, pierced Nose, Long Hair, a Tattoo on his Breast depicting an X, his frozen-face placid as Hades. And it remained placid as the Men began to berate him & curse him for having led them on such a long Wild-Goose Hunt all for no-thing. “By Sweet-Leto’s Cervix!” shouted Hu. “I don’t know who you are or where you came from but I hate you! I hate you & you’re gonna pay Big-Time for what you’ve done to us!” And with this Hu escalated Thing’s as is his tendency by the un-sheathing of his Sabre & hacking-away at the defense-less Frozen-Man before us. But his Blade didn’t make much of a dent & the Wielder of it was bodily-restrained before he could inflict any further-damage. Once Temper’s had abated my Co-Captain Captain Crandall & my-self then privately debated off to the Side whether we should re-trace his foot-steps to see if we could track-down where he had come-from or-else just press-on due-west. But before coming to any agreeance we scaled to the Top of a Peak near unto us from which we hoped to have a better Lay of the Land. On the Way up we decided to call this Mountain Wild-Goose Mountain in honour of our Departed-Friend. Who had for some Reason saw-fit to end his Existance way up-here in these Waste-Lands. May-be he had been terminally-ill & wished to end his Life in these Regions of Rugged-Beauty. But if-so he had obviously had had sufficient Energy to trek way up into these Mountain’s so he couldn’t of been that sick. Or may-be he had got lost, but this also didn’t scan. For I have never known or even heard-of an Auto-Chthon to venture-out alone in-to Unknown-Territory & get-lost & die. For they possess an innate common-sense superior to us Westerner’s & their natural-connection with the Earth makes them Masters at Survival. After much-effort we gained the Top of this Mountain but just as we did so the Cloud’s swooped-in all of a sudden & cast a greyish-shroud o’er us. Decided to wait it out & see if it would pass. And pass it did after may-be a Docen-Minute’s or-so. Upon which whipping-out our Telex-Scopes we then assassed the Scenery to the west-ward’s. My heart well-nigh devoured it’s-self to see the continuous Waste-Land as far as the Eye could see. Wondrous-beauteous yes, but a Desolate-Beauty bereft of all that could be expected to sustain Life. But then my Co-Captain Captain Crandall tapped me upon the Shoulder & bade me look thru his Spy-Glass. Told him I didn’t need his for I had my own at which we had a laugh. And so bending my Instrument over toward’s where he guided me I finally could see that to the south by south-west there was the tiniest of Patches of Green. But we could not be completely assured for after-all Appearance’s was extremely deceiving especially at such an emmense-distance. Yet we decided we had better just head-for this tiny sliver of green & hang all our Hope’s upon it for lack of better-option’s. This being decided-upon my Co-Captain Capt. Crandall & I sketched out the Terrain as best we could, each of us sketching separately & not comparing Note’s so that they could be cross-referenced later. After this busy-ness had been transacted we negotiated our way back-down the Mountain. And by the Time we made it down the Sun was going-down. Found the Men just sitting there sullenly enrapped in their Bison-Robe’s around the Frozen Auto-Chthon who in-deed appeared to be One of our Corpse. But upon telling them that we had spotted Greener-Pasturization’s to the south-by-southwest they was wondrous-gladd to hear of it, all-tho we fudged the Distance a bit. Ordered the Men to proceed-on despite the dying of the Light for none of us wished to expend the Night in the Presence of this Name-Less Some-One who had opted for such a Melancholickal, Lonely Death out here in these Waste-Lands, bereft of the loving-kindness of friend’s & kin-folke’s alike. By Days-End we had come about 12 Anglickan-Miles all-told.
[Murray] Twos-Day the 11th of June, 1802
Our Path-Way to-day included a wondrous-treacherous Stretch passing o’er a Ridge of Peak’s. We called it Cat-Fang Ridge be-cause that’s what they looked like: a sharp-set of Feline-Teeth which we had to care-fully negotiate our-selve’s around. We squeesed betwixt ’em & cautiously maneuvered down the Other-Side which was scattered with loose-stone’s as if placed there on set-purpose to murther us. A coupla the Men in front lost their footing all-most at the exact same-time which all-most led to all of us careening down the Slope. But those of us behind instantaneouslie leaned-back & dug-in which prevented a general-demise of the Corpse. Pressed-on the rest of the day & my Co-Captain Captain Crandall & I occasionally consultated with each-other about the Route. For it’s one thing to sketch Mountains from up-above but a whole different matter when you’re down there amongst them. Encamped after having come perhap’s 13 Anglickan-Miles this day. The Men chivalrous as-ever offer Jean the remainder of their food-stuff’s since she’s eating for Two after-all. But either out of obstinancy or pride she refuses it. I fear her Babe shall not out-survive these severe-trial’s. And I told her so my-self but she refuses to hear any-thing emanating from out of my Mouth so loath-some I have become unto her. Can’t see as I blame her.
[Murray] Whens-Day the 12th of June, 1802
Set-off at Dawn. Wondrous-cold yester-night. Weird noises again last-night but probley just the Wind. Proceeded-on toward’s the south-by-south-west in search of that Little Sliver of Green we’d seen which may of just been a Mirage. Jean looks ill having none of that health-full expectant-mother’s Glow that you hear so-much about. The Men continue to plead with her to take their Food but she is adamantine in the not-accepting of it. I do believe she is indirectly-attempting to terminate her Pregnancy. Alternate snow & rock & down’s & up’s thru-out the Day. Came about 15 Anglickan-Miles to-day.
[Murray] Thors-Day the 13th of June, 1802
Toward’s the end of the Day the Corpse begun to axe my Co-Captain Captain Crandall & me just how much farther it would be. Not dissentiously mind-you but wondrous-meekly rather. Told them if they could just hold-out another Day or Twain things’d be as Right as Rain. I do feel sorry for them. Both for their wondrous-miserable appearance & because we are knowingly miss-leading them for their own Good. Which is a heavy-burthen for any Leader of Men to carry. Encamped after having come 18 Anglickan-Mile’s today.
[Murray] Frye-Day the 14th of June, 1802
Proceeded-on at Dawn. Wondrous-hard hiking all the day-long. Pretty-much out of Food. The Men grimly-joke about Canniballism. Came 15 Anglickan-Mile’s to-day at the absolute ut-most.
[Murray] Saturn-Day the 15th of June, 1802
Went with-out break-fest this morning. At mid-day while taking a rest we collectively pooled our remaining Food together then divvied it up equitabally. And par-taking of that little which was allotted to us we set-off on our Way again. To compound Matter’s our Foot-Ware is in Tatter’s & a heavy frigid air blew straight-into our Face’s the Bulk of the Day. Encamped after having come may-be 12 Anglickan-Mile’s this Day.
[Murray] Sun-Day the 16th of June, 1802
Set-off at Day-Break & as the Day progressed sev’ral of the Corpse-Members discretely sidled up to my Co-Capt. Capt. Crandall & me to alternately-enquire how much longer it would be till we reached the Land of Green. Not failing to mention rather-delicately that we had said that it would not be but a Day or Twain. But here it was Day-Three. Told them it could not be but just one-more day from here. How my Spirit did ache to fibb & lead the Men along like this. I am a Liar & a Fraud. Came no-more than 11 Anglickan-Mile’s to-day over wondrous-uneven Terrain.
[Murray] Moone-Day the 17th of June, 1802
Our Pace slackened-considerably to-day due-to lack of Sustenance. Some of the Men have taken to gnawing upon bit’s of Stray-Leather just to allay their Famishment. Came at-best 9 Anglickan-Miles to-day but even-that’s pushing-it.
[Murray] Twos-Day the 18th of June, 1802
This morning before setting-out the Men demanded to know as a Body when we could expect to get-out of these Mountain’s & reach the Emerald-Region’s. But before we could answer some of the Men who shall remain name-less started to imply that this so-called Green-Land was pure-fabrication. That it had been concocted by my Co-Captain Capt. Crandall & my-self simply as a Mean’s to motivate them to supra-humane Effort’s. Which they could appreciate & per-hap’s they would do the same in our Place’s. But that none-the-less enough was enough & that they now demanded the un-varnished Truth from us. Which was their due as Member’s of this-here Corpse & also as Amerikan’s. In response to which we told them that in-deed we had expected to reach the Land of Green by-now. But that apparently our estimate’s had been faulty & we begged their Pardon. And that if they so consented that at the next high-some Hill or Peak which appeared surmountable they could follow us up & they could verify the Distance left to us. With this they was contented-with & so we proceeded-on. Our step’s was faultering as we negotiated our way across the un-even terrain with fumbling-step’s. But wouldn’t you know it we encountered an ostensibley Scalable-Peak in the early after-noon but none of us was entirely-sure if we possessed sufficient-energie’s to scale it or not. We hawed & hammed about it for a Moment or Twain till my-self, Delancey, & Daniel-Kaye decided we would give it a try. The way-up was not quite-so easy as it looked & we at-time’s deliberated about going-back. But eventually we reached the Apex & thru my Spy-Glass we was able to see Greenery definitely closer than before but not so close as one would-of hoped. Delancey & Daniel after having par-took of the Vision of it thru my Spy-Glass consulted with one-another off to the Side & I did not dare intrude upon them. Who know’s what they were saying. Any-way when we finally got back-down we found the Rest of the Corpse was resting, some with Scrap’s of Randomised-Leather dangeling from their Maw’s so-as to stave-off the Hunger-Pang’s. They was not all-together happy to hear our Travail’s was not yet near-finalised but yet they was not ready to give-in to Despair. For Delancey & Daniel Kaye reported unto them that the Emerald-Land did in-deed exist. They had objectively-regarded it with their very-own Eye’s & that giving-up was out-side the Question, they said. So with-out farther ado we proceeded-on & One could detect a subtile spriteliness of Step in the Corpse’s over-all movement’s. For it did not require an Eisenstein to infer that Hope had been installed with-in their Breast’s which after-all we need even-more than Food. Encamped after having come may-be 11 Anglickan-Mile’s this Day.
[Murray] Winds-Day the 19th of June, 1802
A Day of silent & sombre toilsome-ness. Every once-&-a-while there is little deposits of Soil which the Men scoop up & ladel into their Mouth’s in-order to extract it’s Nutrient’s. Dan’l was the first to do it but by Day’s-End we was all doing it. Don’t know how many Anglickan-Mile’s we came to-day because all is obscured by the Great-Weakness I felt.
[Murray] Thors-Day the 20th of June, 1802
Same as above.
[Crandall] Fryday the 21st of June, 1802
At about Noontide we at last caught site of the Vegetation which he had lusted so much to reach, & as soon as the Trees came in to View the vast majoritie of the Men let out a Holler which made one’s Blood curtail[1]. And after letting out said Holler they broke out in to a Gallop down the Montaigneside which bellied3 the emmense weakness they had earlier exhibited, with their Baggage & other assorted Accoutremounte’s djangoling & djingoling all about them. In Deed so grate was their vehemence that I feared they mite injure them Selves as they careened down the rugged slope & we admonished them to slow down but our Word’s was misspent in vane. For onward’s they rushed like a Horde of Barbarians upon Roma of Olde & there was no Thing which my Comrade Murry nor I could do about it. Eventually we caught up with them & what a site they presented: gnawing feverishley like Beaver’s upon Trees, gobbeling up Pine Needles as if it were Ambrosia, scrambling that way & this in search of Game or Other Sustanance. I had no recoarse but to discharge my Weapon & command them to all halt in what they was doing: for surely Tree Barke & Pine Needles was not holesome fodder for Humanoid’s, particularly those suffering under the burthen of Starvation such as they was. To their Accreditation they relented all tho we had to insist upon them spitting out the Remainder which remained in their Mouth’s, looking like Sadd Children as they did so. What’s moore we insistated that they maintain Militaristick Ordure & since it was presupposed that we would be encamping here for the Nite we commandeered4 them to first unpack & lay out their Bear Robes & then we set a watch & delegated two different Hunting Parties to set out in apposite5 Direction’s. That being done we instructed GSW to get a fire started & we demanded that Cultier just lay down & take a rest for she is far from possessing that proverbial glow which expectorant6 Mother’s are said to possess, poor retch. She protested at first but then soon succumbed to a Vegetative State. Each Hunting Party returned some Time later simultaneously but the Pray they brung back was ridickulously scanty, for One Party brung back a Chipp Monke while the Other brung back no Thing. Much to their Accreditation they had not devoured the Creature raw upon the Spot but out of consideration for the Rest of the Corpse had brung it back to be divvied up equitabally. The partitioning of the Beast was an Affair conducted with extreme decorum & attention to detail as if it were a Religious Right or else an autopsie perfourmed by a group of expert doctor’s at a Medicinal University. It was the Kaye’s of coarse who precided over the Proceeding’s & they called for the smallest & sharpest Knive’s which we had on Hand. These being produced the Chip Monke was laid upon the flatt top of a largish Rock & they set to work with an exactitude & precision that I had never seen them possess before—for I had seen them filet larger beasts many a time before this but on those Ocassion’s they had exhibited a Violent Enthusiasm with sweeping flourishments which this scene was now in starque contrastment to. For their Movement’s & Incision’s was concise & deliberative & the only part’s of their Bodies which betrayed any Movement’s was their wrists in short discreet Motion’s. While mean while the Rest of the Corpse stood enrapt around them uddering not a scyllabull much like Medicinal Students spectating as two Master Surgeons did what they do best. After the Blood had been drained into a Cupp the Fur was removed & set aside with conscienscious care then the Organz was harvested & laid out upon the Rock one by one. Finally the Meat was severed from the Bones & also laid on the rock. The Beast having been thoroughly anatomised it then became Time to divide up the Spoilz as it were. There was some debate as to weather or not the Meet should be fryed up first & the Boyz looked over towards Murrie & Me for guidance but we enformed them that we would forego this Bounty & so the Decision was up to them. They then offered to cook it all up for Coultier out of regard for her empregnationed State but she said she was not hungary which none of them believed but she begged them to leave her out of it. So discoursing amongst their Selves they unanimouslie opted to eat it Raw & so the Meet & Organz & even the Brainz & Eyeballz was divvied up with Maximal Deliberation & Fourthought. Much to the Mens’s Accreditation they did not waxx hot or invidious during these Deliberation’s about how much would be allotted to whom but all were the vary sole of Discretion as the various sizes & nutritional valuations of the Chipmonke’s Constituent Parte’s was pondered & genitally7 debated amongst them. I must say their conference grew tiresome & I retreated to read but my Comred Murry later enformed me that eventually like a Sacrimant each Mann had partaken of the miniscule Pittance of Flesh that had been allotted him, & placing it in their Mouth’s with Reverential Aw they masticated & psucked upon it with the utmost Relish making sure to capture every cingle Atom of Nutriment, of coerce not failing to Lick their Fingar’s after Word’s. After hearing this I was gladd not to be a Witness to it. GSW mean while had gathered some herbiage which she concocted in to a Soup which had not a vary pleasaunt Taste but we was gratefull unto her for it, all tho later on my Stomach begun to ache terribly & I was subject to many Gases as by the Sound of it was the vast majority of the Corpse. We encamped this Nite by a raging Fyre & the Men all stripped down completely Naked & hung their Clothes to dry which could not justly be called Clothes any moore so much as Taddered Ragg’s that not even the miserablest of Drudge’s would dane to wipe a Privy with. We came about a docen Anglickan Miles this Day.
[Crandall] Saturnineday the 22nd of June, 1802
Brakefestlessly we set off at Donne & the Altitude diminishing the Vegetation waxed a thadd moore luxuriant as the Mourning wore on. The Corpse collectivistickally exhausted by Noon Tyde it did not require an Eisenstein to surmise that we had better just encamp here for the Day & send out Hunterz in ordure to gain some Game in ordure to sustenate our Self’s before venturing further. But just before they had set out we heard an unearthly screeching Chirrup which sent the Heirs on the Back of my Neck to an uprite Position. All Eye’s veered to where we each surmised the Sound had emanated from till we finally detected it on the Branch of a Tree not so farr from us: ’twas a Big Byrd, a most Magificant Byrd, & it sat there stolidly regarding us with Skeptickal Eye with a Snowey White Head, Brownish Body, & Talonz of considerable Size possassing a most Nobel Mean8 & a most pearcing Gayze, a fearsome Gayze emitting a shrieking sound which made one’s Blood frieze up in One’s Vain’s9. And then I heard the disscharge of a Rifle to my immediate Left which deafened me momentarily & I watched as the Byrd was flong against the Main Maste of the Tree & then in it’s downward dissent get tangled up in some Branche’s—but it’s grate weight ensured that it eventually reached the Earth in rather noisesome Manor. The Men immediately dissended upon it & had all ready begun to sink their Fangs in to it & partake of it’s blood with fiendish delite, the Byrd’s Feather’s wafting in all Directionalities. All of yesterday’s care & formalism had been thrown to the Four Wind’s apparently, & in Deed they had all most drained it by the Time they heeded our Call’s to stop. Turning round toward’s us with the Fasces of Vampyres the Blood streaming down their Chines & onto their Neck’s we commandeered them to pluck it & fry it up fourthwidth for General Consumption. Which they promptly did & retained the Feather’s as some sort of good luck charm, sticking them in their Cap’s & Pocket’s & Belt’s like Children. The Byrd was big enuff to at least supply each of us with a Few Choice Mouthfull’s so a Fyre was instantaneouslie concocted & GSW precided over the cooking of it, all her Pryor Qualm’s set aside10 since she too was looking as peekid from Hungar as the Rest of Us. The Byrd being spitted & twirled over the Fyre it was promptly devoured down to it’s Bones, & in Deed the Murther of this beauteous Byrd must of conjured up some Good Luck for us, for shortly after we had luncheoned upon the Foul11 our Hunterz was sent out & they soon came back with a Montaigne Goat which they carried tied to a Pole it’s tong lolling out the side of it’s Mouth, pour retch. Adjudging by the Crimson rimming the Lipp’s of the Men they had all ready partook of it’s Blood but they had at least had the Decency to carry the remainder back to be cooked. The Beast being flayed courtesy of the Kayes it was then spitted over our Fyre just as the Byrd had earlier been done & the Men drooled as the Flesh hissed & popped & the phat dripped in to the Flames. In Deed they appeared to be a bevy of veritable Ghoolz hovering there round the Firelite their Fasces illumined by the flickering Flame’s which brought out the shininess of their Eyes & the deep crevices in their whetherbeaten Visages reminding me of the Masques which the Bandit’s which we had lately encountered had worn. But as ravenous as they appeared they retained all due decorum as the Meet was filletted & divided up & placed in their Bowel’s12 & most considerately none did partake till every One had been served. The Cignal being given we applicated our Teeth to the Goat Flesh with Maximal Relish & once againe the Men savoured every bite as if it was his last. There being sufficient for Second’s this Scene was reenacted with just as much Passion as the first one if not moore so, & then the Other Internal Organz was cut up having been boiled & they was despatched so quickly it was as if they had never existed. Finally the Bonez & Grizzle was distributed & the Men gnawed & sucked upon them with such ghastly sound affect’s that I had to excuse my Self for a Solitary Walk lest I disgorged all that I had previously eaten. By the Time I’d returned I found all of them accept13 for Murry & GSW bound by Sleep in the exact spots where I had last left them their Hands & Fasces besmirched with Grease & Bonez strewn all about them as they lay in the most aukward Position’s, snoring & if not snoring at least breathing heavily. My Cumred Murray & my Self having been selfselected for the first round of Guard Dutie then partook of some Coffey which Murry had considerately begun to embrew in ordure to help us maintain Wokeness. We also smoked for the selfsame Reasons & when conversation lagged we had the grotesque visages of the Men & the strangeness of their postures to furnish us much entertainment, one eye of Essex half oped in his slumbers so that the white of it was clearly visible twitching like the Dicken’s while the Other One lay clinched tight; Hu’s loud chortling deep back in his Sinuses which some Time’s paused for such a lengthy Span of Time that you became alarumed thinking that he had seized14 respiring all together, & just as One was about to go over to him to make sure he was all right he would then produce a most Muckussey, Cthonick Snoring Sound that it was moore then sufficient to revive the Dead; the twitching Fingarz of Gone playing a command Perfourmance in the Hallz of Morpheos that none of us could hear. Eventually us not being suprahumane there came a Time when the neither of us could keep his Eye’s open nary a Second longer so we had no recoarse but to awaken the Kayes whom it required no inconsiderable quantity of Jostelling to awaken. Like Children they squirmed & refused to open up their Eye’s till we had no recoarse but to apply vigourous slapp’s upon their Fasces & after plying them with Coffey they was moor or less good to go. I my Self had a substandard Nite’s Slumber chalkfull of Dreamz none of which I can no longer remember.
Illustration by De Robles
All of this is a paraphrase from The Analects of Kleosoddarthos 2.7.22-25.
The Analects of Kleosoddarthos 7.10.3.
Belied
Commanded, presumably.
Opposite
Expectant
Gently, presumably.
Noble mien
This is doubtless the Amerikan Bald Eagle, now extinct, which the Corps previously encountered in the mountains on their way east.
See the entry for October 8, 1801.
Fowl
Bowls
Except
Ceased