[Crandall] Twosday the 25th of June, 1802
After brakefest we ordured the Men to put some extra care in to their Wardrobe so that they’d appear to their utmost spruceness in ordure to produce a Positive Impression on the Autochthone’s both individuallistickally & as Representatives of Amerika as a Nation. So they thus got all gussied up & preened their Selve’s not unlike Societal Debbutante’s preparing for their first Big Bawl1 adjusting their accountrement’s & positioning & repositioning their Featherz with an Eye for Aesthetix that I scarcely knew they had possessed. My Comred Murry & me soon waxxed impatient how ever & so commandeered them to start their march toward’s the Village rite this Minuet, for after all Danielle had his library booke to return now didn’t he? So marching fourth to the Village with Eagre Spirit’s toting what ever Merchandise we still had on Hand after our toilsome Sojourn acrosst the Montaigne’s, the Corpse traipsed fourth all tricked out in their borrowed plummage & we arrived at the outerskirt’s of the Village in what seamed like no time at all. There was a fair amount of Folk’s loitering around no doubt anticipating our Arrival but as soon as they espied our Encroachment they begun to shout at us angrily & gestickulate most strangely but we did not at first take all of this necessarily as Ensignia’s of Ill Humour on their parte’s for communications betwixt vastly diffarant Kulture’s after all is open to a Vast Plethora or Rival Interpretation’s. So disregarding these fourwarning’s we stupidly kept pressing froward’s till moore Folk’s gathered & weapons & spearz begun to be brandished at us & spiddel even begun to be jettisoned from the Mouth’s of those thus apposing us. Astonied at this sodden switch in Attitude toward’s us we froze up in our footsteppe’s knowing not weather to proceed on or retreat reckoning that there just must be some sort of Missunderstanding. Then bursting thru the Maddening Crowd came Ollirazall his Self whom I at first gestured towards in remonstrance hoping that here was a Friendly Face who would appeal on our Behalf’s. But no Thing could of been moore distant from the Truth, for his Face turned out to not be friendly at all but rather amongst those the most wrathfull—& shouting at us in good Kastillian he said thus: “Matadores! Desgraciados! Diabloes e no se que quienes son! Han matado al paharo del Dios e por eso deben sufrir las tortugas2 por aeternidad! Vayanse de aqui, diabloes Maricones3 o no se que de cual pais Ustedes son! Vayanse, vayanse!” And punctuating this short but vile screed was a volley of stones thrown by a docen Hands which mostly missed their marque. Only disfortunate Hu was struck in the Gonad’s which doubleted him over necessitating us carrying him wounded off the Field of Battaile, accompanied by a warning shott of a docen or so Arrowz which whizzed just Anglickan Inches above our Headz. Of coarse we could of retaliated with maximal Firepourer but we knew that no possible good could come of it so we retreated back in to the Woodz with rapiduous steppe not saying a Word unto one an Other till we had re-reached our Pool, where all the pent up Humiliation & Ire was given full vent to with Curses & Physickal Attack’s upon the Trunk’s of Innocent Tree’s. Till the Corpse’s Ire ebbing some what it slowly became clarified unto us that what had so offended the Autochthone’s toward’s us was the vary Feather’s the Corpse had bedecked it’s Self with ironickally in ordure to impress the Autochthone’s with which ended up enacting just the exact Inverse. For ’twas selfevident that the Whiteheaded Eagall which we had sleighed had had some sort of socioreligious significance unto these People not unlike which we Amerikaan’s feel towards the Vulture, which is our Nationalistick Byrd & in Deed there had been some Legislation currantly under consideration at the Time we’d departed outlawing the killing of said Byrd which Precedent Torso his Self has been in support of & no doubt has signed in to Law during our Abcense. It being then recalled that GSW had what seamed like Aeon’s ago explicated unto us the Sacredness of this Foul the Men begun to wunder why she had not fourwarned them this Time out. In Defense of which she merely said, “To have harkened to my Word’s had I fourwarned you again would you of paid any Heed? Huh? Would you of now?! To One who is a mere Drudge amongst you & who when she most needed you’re Support you failed to give it but in stead favoured her Rival?” With this she grabbed her Wig from off her Head & stormed out in to the Wood’s & honestly we knew not if she would ever return unto us again or not. But we thought it not fit to chase after her but rather ordured the Men to discard their Borrowed Plummage lest it give further Offense, which they but halfhartedly did polling them out from their Clothing not unlike Byrd’s plucking them Selve’s, a Notion that made me chuggle as soon as it came to Mind despite the solemnity of our Present Circumstances. And the Feather’s once detached from their Grasp’s fluttered fourlournley to the Earth where they rested to rise no moor. That being done we set off to the West again, GSW having psilently readjoined us, giving the Village a Wide Birth hoping to yet fallow this Stream which we called the Ollirazall River in honour of our erstwhile Interpreter whom we could tell was a Good Enuff Person till a Fatale Misunderstanding & Kultural Differences had driven a Rift betwixt us that hopefully shall one Day be surmounted by Mind’s more skilled in the Art’s of Diplomacey than we are. We trudged somberly thru the Woods on our Guardz for a sneak attaque but no such sneak attaque was fourthcoming, the Terrain we was traversing tending generally downward’s & we kept on pushing forward’s in ordure to put as much distance betwixt us & the Village as possible before Sonnedown. We encamped ’neath the Towering Pinez & dined on jerqued meet before striking the Proverbial Satchelle having come perhap’s a Grande Totality of Twentey Five Anglickan Miles this Day.
[Murray] Winds-Day the 26th of June, 1802
Followed the Ollirazal-River all of the Day. Killed us a wondrous-scrawny Deer which we came-upon drinking from it. Losing altitude fast & the temperature is much hotter & dryer. Encamped after having come about 24 or 25 Anglickan-Miles to-day.
[Murray] Thors-Day the 27th of June, 1802
Descended further-down from the Mountain’s. The Terrain waxes rockier & wondrous-arrider. Continue to follow the River for we figure that it empties into a larger-body at-which we can then per-hap’s navigate to the north-wards in Canoes. Killed a Wild-Bore which charged at us to-day as if out of No-Where. Yet the Men being at the ready they shot it down before it could do us Injury. Came 27 Anglickan-Miles to-day.
[Murray] Frye-Day the 28th of June, 1802
Descended-down further from the Heighth’s upon which we’d been & as the Day self-advaunced the Vegetable-Life waxed sparser & sparser. Did not espy any Game to-day. Came 24 Anglickan-Mile’s this Day. Jean appear’s wondrous-sickley & I fear for the Life of her Babe.
[Murray] Saturn-Day the 29th of June, 1802
Descended down in-to a bright dry hard-baked Desert-Land to-day. There was intra-mittant sage-brush but on the whole sandy & crusty & nearly blinding unto the eye-sight. The Hessanam-River continuated on meekly thru this harsh land-skape & we followed it having no other-option. Diverse-time’s thru-out the day my Co-Captain Captain Crandall & my-self swapped glaunces as if to say what have we gotten our selve’s in to. For we have strayed far-off the Path & now we are in some fear of straying irrevocabley-so. The Men mean-while was in rather good-spirit’s for this dry-heat was rather pleasaunt unto them after all the cold dampness of our Trekk thru the Mountainz. Encamped by the side of the River after having come as much as 30 Anglickan-Miles this day. No Game slayed to-day.
[Murray] Sun-Day the 30th of June, 1802
Kept-marching thru this Desert-Land & it waxed dryer & hotter as the day drew-on. Our stores of meat are starting to dwindel but we killed two Desert-Hyena’s with Longish-Ears in the after-noone which kind-of made-up for the deficit. They was more-or-less similar in Appearance to a Wolfe yet a bit skinnier but like I said with longer Ear’s4. Dined-upon their Flesh after encamping for the Night & I found the taste dis-pleasant. The fur we kept for clothing. Came may-be 25 Anglickan-Mile’s today.
[Murray] Moone-Day the 31st of June, 1802
Marched-thru a barren-wasteland of naught-else but rox, sand, & you’re stray bush or tuft of wild-grass there-&-here. Zero-Game encountered. Jean looking wondrous-bad. Try to talk to her but she with-draw’s in-to her-self & rejects my Advancement’s. This Parched-Land lies level & seem’s to stretch-out unto Infinitude with only this measlie-stream which dribble’s weakly thru it. Came about 24 Anglickan-Mile’s today.
[Crandall] Toosday the 32nd of June, 1802
After partaking of a meagre Brakefest we set out along the River which has dwindled considerably & alas by midafternoon it ended abruptly & most strangely: for it disappeared in to a Whole5 in the Earth, a Dark Maw of no grate size from which you could hear the Water’s ecchoing & splashing deep down there some where. A Naturall Wunder the like of which I have never have lain Eyes upon before & we spent some time inspecting it & just plane marveling at it, for it did not appear to reemerge any Where but seamed to make it’s Finale Home as I have said deep with in the Balls6 of the Earth. One could feel the cool Eyre7 billow out from the Cleft betwixt the two largish Rox where it disappeared, & flourishing in this cool wet situation amidst the surrounding barenness was Two Giant Fernz one sitting on each side o’ the Cleft bobbing & weaving as if they was thoroughly enjoying their Selve’s. They say that the Alpheos in Arcadia submerges it’s self ’neath the Meditarainean & come’s up in Sicily at the Spring’s of Methusalla8 but as every One know’s ’tis udder Hoggwarsh for how can a River dig down deeper then the vary See9 & cross Hundered’s of Mile’s in a totally diffarant country & what’s more retain it’s Freshness. Any Way we scowered the Area for the resurfacing of the Stream but we could not find it no Where so after some further Measurement’s of our whereabout’s & a conference betwixt my Cumred Morie & my Self we set off for the northwest. For e’en tho we had determinated that the safest & surest way would be to return to the Base of the Mountains where there was sure to be moore Game & Water we had all ready fallowed this River so far that retracing our Steppe’s would be a terrible perdition of Time while if we just shot up straight to the Northward’s ’twould be nearly as inefficient if not moore so so we opted to head directly north-west with as much haste as we could so as to reach more hospitable Climes. We encamped next to the Last Remnant’s of the Hessanam River under a brilliant starlit skye after having come about Twentey Five Anglickan Myles Today.
[Murray] Whens-Day the 33rd of June, 1802
After filling-up every available receptacle with Water at the Pointe where the Hessanam dis-appeared into Mother-Earth, we trudged to the north-west thru the Waste-Land’s. The Sands waxed wondrous-hot ’neath our meagre-boots which have nearly-totally dis-integrated. Which contributated toward’s our impressive Pace & despite the Heat we find out Toil’s much-easier then before. For the Terrain is wondrous-flat un-like the soul-trying down’s & up’s we had been subjective10 to during our Sojournment ’mongst the Mountain’s. But I feared that the Men with all this Hotness & Exertion was expending their Stores of Water too quickly, so my Co-Capt. Capt. Crandall & me made a new-rule that only 1 Pint could be consummated11 per-diem. Which all the Men declared was the Best-Idea they’d over-heard in some-time & thanked us hardily for reining them in as we did. Need-less to say we saw no Game at-all to-day. Except-for a small greenish Reptile which we glimpsed at disparate Time’s during the Day. But which darted-away under some Rock the instant we drew near it. Francis Kaye wondrous-eagre to catch one whether for Food or just curiositie’s-sake I do-not-know-which leapt repeatedly at one but just ended-up with a fist-full & face-full o’ Dust each-time. And after each un-successfull attempt he stood-up, dusted his-self off, & shaking his Fist at the Skye exclaimed: “I shall get you, you Little-Lizzard! Later or sooner, I shall get you! For once Francis-Kaye set’s his Sight’s upon some-thing it’s look-out, World! For he shall not remain un-satisfied! Not while hot & fresh Amerikan-Blood pulsates thru his Arteries!” The Men enquired why he was addressing the Skye since the Lizzard12 was an Earth-Creature after-all, a Question that Francis did not have a Satisfactory-Answer to. Obviously he was just play-acting but then-again who-know’s. Encamped after having come about 30 Anglickan-Miles to-day. Which was none-too shabby.
[Murray] Thors-Day the First-Day of July, 1802
The Land has begun to possess a most-interesting character, rock-wise. For around mid-day we encountered a largish-boulder precariously balanced a-top another-one. With only per-hap’s half-a-square Anglickan-Foote of connecting rock betwixt them. The one on-top which must of measured 20 X 15 Anglickan-Feete was not-even connected in the middle but rather at the two-thirdz point, it jutting-out like an Animal-Snout. Ne’er had I seen any-thing like unto it. The Boy’s first-reaction of-course upon seeing it precariously balanced there was to push it over. For in-deed it looked as if with the mere press of a Single-Digit one could send the Rock on-top tumbeling-over. And in-deed they made Movement’s to do so but we admonished them to stop. But they thought we was just joking & continuated to make Motion’s to push it o’er. Hu even going so far as to hold up his one good arm & proclaim: “Behold the Mighty-Arm of Heracles enacting his Thirteenth-Labour! Watch what wonder’s it shall set in Motion!” But then in anger my Co-Captain Captain Crandall trod-forth with levelled Pistol & said: “Step-away from the Rock, Sargent. Step-away, all of you! Step-away I said! For the Man that dare marr this marvell of Nature shall in-turn be marred by this here Pistole! Step-away I said!” And so the Men surprised by Crandall’s Impromptu-Fury backed-away while he like-wise lowered his Pistole. “Yes that’s right, back-away, Boyz,” said Crandall. “For obviously these Rox have stood this Way for Aeon’s ever-since the Vast-Lake which once covered this Waste-Land dried up & left this here Rock setting here in seeming defiance of all the Lawz of Gravitie & ’twould be an act of sacriledge to un-do all those Aeon’s in one short moment of frolicksomeness. Surely many an Auto-Chthon has passed-by this & resisted the Desire to topple it o’er no-doubt regarding it as some-thing Holy so it like-wise behoove’s us to exhibit some self-restraint & do as the Auto-Chthone’s have done in all their Wise-Dom.” The Men much to their accreditation did apologise profusively & their Attitude’s having been re-adjusted thus stood-back & admired the Oblong-Rock’s Balancing-Act like Art-Conniseur’s at the National-Gallery. While mean-while my Co-Capt. Captain Crandall took a little-time to sketch the Land-Mark in his sketch-book13. The only Individual not mesmerised by it was Jean. Who sat her-self down in the dirt on the out-skirt’s & just stared-out in-to the Distance & stroked her swollen-belly half-heartedley. But I did not dare to go-over & try & comfort her for she has made it positively-plain that she no-longer wishes to have any-thing more to-do with me. Nor with most of the Other Corpse-Member’s for that Matter. Crandall having finished-off his sketching we continuated-on. We called this Rock Hovering-Rock for in-deed it seemed to hover or hang in the Aire at-least from a certain angle as if by Witch-Kraft. Continuated to the north-west & it got wondrous-hot in the after-noon. So much so that we all felt like collapsing. Jean in-particular looked wondrous-pekid. So when we came unto a large Rock casting a longish-shadow upon the Sands we rested in it’s shade & determinated that we had better stay-put till sun-down. Which is what we did trying to get as much sleep as we could till Dusk. Which is when we aroused the Men & set-off again. The Moone being out we had zero-problem seeing where we was going. ’Twas dry & cool with a slight-breeze which felt magnificent on One’s Skin. All are wondrous-thirsty for we have relegated our-selves to but an Anglickan-Pint per-day which is not near-enough. Plus our food-stuff’s are wondrous-dry & salty which only amplificates our Thirst.
[Murray] Fry-Day the 2nd of July, 1802
Kept hiking-on till about mid-morning which is when it waxed wondrous-hot againe. So finding another large Mono-Lith who’s shade we wished to partake-of we encamped there under it for the Day having come per-hap’s 30 Anglickan-Mile’s yester-day & last-night combined. Some of the Men have all-ready run-out of Water. For they have secretly partaken-of more than their allotted-amount. Shame on them. I of-course suffer from the self-same Thirst same as the rest of the Corpse yet I find much to commend in this Desert-Country. The Beauty of these Spartan-Rox standing-out against the sparse-landscape is wondrous-beauteous. And I find the general-flatness a welcome Change after the steepness of the Mountain’s. Plus the dryness seem’s to agree-with my Constitution. Set-off just as Dusk was setting-in & walked all of the Night with occasional Rest-Stop’s. We hear the Howell’s of Wild-Dogz & of-course the Corpse would like to get their Handz on one primarily to drink-up it’s Blood.
[Murray] Saturn-Day the 3rd of July, 1802
Stopped walking an Hour or-so after-dawn when we came-across a slight-curvature in a Massive-Rock. Which appeared to be the ideal-place to encamp for the Night14. And in-deed we was not the first-one’s to do so. For on the floor of this Indent lay Ashes none-too recent yet again none-too old neither. Additionally there was a pile of small animal-bones lying-there. Also there was a smallish-puddle at the back of this Concavitie which it seemed was the product of a slight Chink in the Wall. Which was not currently emitting water but you could see the stain it had left upon the Stones. The Puddle was a most measelie one, rather oddly-coloured, rimmed around the Edge’s with a slick-putrescence. The Corpse upon catching-sight of this leapt-down upon their Stomach’s & begun to lap it up like a pack of Mongrelle’s. Despite all our Protestantism’s, for we knew that all-tho possessing the form of Water this Liquid surely must harbor many an Alien-Organism. But continuate to slurp-up this Filthy-Liquidity they most-assuredley did & they even began to suck-away at the Rock from which it had sprung-up. And just like Mongrelle’s they begun to vomit-up that which they’d just drunk-up. Yet un-phased by this set-back they then begun to hack-away at the Wall with the Blunt-Endz of their Hatchets seeking to find the Source of the Water. But in this they was signally un-successfull. Slept-out the Remainder of the Day in this Cave then set-off again at Dusk. Walked all the Nite thru till we found shade beneath another Rock. A wondrous-terrible Thirst inhabit’s us all. Came may-be 20 Anglickan-Mile’s this Day.
[Murray] Sun-Day the 4th of July, 1802
Grieves me to say so, but Jean lost her Baby to-day. It was at about mid-day as we was all resting ’neath a Rocky over-hang that Water begun to seep along the Ground. And the Men thinking that a spring had magickally erupted amongst them begun to drink of it. And Lapping-away at it like Dirty-Dog’s they eventually discovered that it had emanated from none-other than Jean. Who was now groaning in Paine. And it did not require an Eisenstein to surmise she was about to give-birth. The Men then begun to vomit now being fully-acquainted with where the Water had come-from. While mean-while my Co-Captain Captain Crandall & the Gardner-Snake Woman cared for Jean & sought to alleviate her Pain. While I just stood-by gaping like an Idiot my Mind a-blank. Don’t know how long I stood there as Jean lay there not emitting a sound except for some strained-breathing. Mean-while the Men loitered-about round-about the Perimeter dis-comfortable with being too near such a Scene. But finally I’m not exactly sure when there was a Strange-Calm & coming-out from out of my Daze I saw Crandall with for-lorn bent-down Head & the Garter-Snake Woman in like-wise sad-posture. Jean’s Head was laying flat-down & she was ashen-looking but judging from the pulsating of her Nostrile’s yet alive. The Gardner-Snake Woman was sobbing & I strode-forward to see what was the Matter not yet putting Twain & Twain to-gather15. As I did so my Co-Capt. Capt. Crandall intra-cepted me & begged me not to come any closer. But by that Time it was all-ready too-late. For lying-upon the Ground upon a Blankette was an immobile little lump, bloody & miss-shapen. Couldn’t make-out what in Hades it was at-first. For the Cord was still-attached & it appeared to have 2 Janus-like Faces branching-out from the self-same Head. Wandered-out alone out in-to the Desert to try & make-sense of it all. My Head ached & swam as the Sun’s Rays hammered-down upon me wondrous-relentlessley. Never have a witnessed such a terrible-thing & I cursed the Universe & the Godz for their inhumanity. A Serpent crossed my Path & hissed at me but I walked right-over it un-heeded. Think it was a species of Rattle-Snake or may-be it was just my Imagination. After I don’t know how long I returned unto our Encampment. The Corpse as a whole was a-sleep by this Time except for Crandall & Hu who haled my coming. All-most begun to think that what I had earlier witnessed had been but a bad-dream for so pacifick every-thing seemed. But the sad, tired Gaze of my Co-Captain Captain Crandall enformed me word-lessly that it had not been no Dream. Axed how Jean was & he said she was fine but slumbering after her Late-Travail’s. Then I lay me down to sleep & slept-out the Rest of the Day.
Illustration by De Robles
Ball
Torturas: tortures
Apparently Ollirazal confuses Amerikan with the Iberian word maricon here.
The Eastern Amerikan Coyote
Hole
Bowels?
Air
Arethusa
Very sea
Subjected
Consumed
Probably the Eastern Amerikan Gecko.
Crandall’s sketchbook has not come to light but hopefully one day it will.
Murray forgets that they are now encamping during the daytime.
Together