[Crandall] Sonday the 1st of August, 1802
We heard horrid sounds thru out the Nite & my Comrade Murry & my Self being awakened early in the Mourning by our shakened Watch Men we eventually came to the conclusion that it was a bevvy of Wilde Beast’s feasting upon the Phruits. For the sound undoubtedly emanated from a Living Creature & not just one but many, & the uneven snorting slash grunting sounds intraspersed with animalick bickering’s in the forum of occasional growell’s & gutteral Barque’s was not all that unlike the Noise’s which Francis his Self had made yesterday. Which contributated to the Men’s dampening of Spirit’s concerning their partaking of the Phruit in the Mourning: for they had been all keyed up to rush down to the Grove at first lite but as they expectantley awoke & strait away enquired if Francis was up yet & if so how was he feeling Word quickly got round about the Sounds of last Nite & a Skittishness visibley entered in to them. For our own Theoreum that ’twas some Wilde Beast’s feasting upon the Phruits got transformed in to the Rumour that the Grove was haunted or rather cursed, that the Phruits all tho ostensibley tastey was a Trapp of sorts & that malevolent Damon’s inhabited them as exhibited by their Outward Appearance—for any Thing so nearly resembling the Humanoid Frame could not possibley be okeh to eat. In fact that it bordered discomfortabley close to Cannebellism. And I don’t know who (all tho I think it was probabley Hu) then coined the term Manphruit in ordure to highlite their Resemblification to Humanoidz & the possible Sacriledge involved in the devouring of them. So soddenly is Humane Desire squelched by suprastition! For even tho Francis Kaye reported that he was in Fine Feddle & that beside’s some miner gaseousness he felt he was experiencing a small increase in general Fisickal Fitness & Animal Energies the Men was dubious. For some Reason this Shift in Attitude of their’s now blowing Cold concerning the partaking of the Manphruit irqued me even moore then their previous day’s Hotness, for this waivering & flopflipping betwixt Extremes is the Ear Marque of Ignourance—& this type of Ignourance is in starque contrastment to the Ignourance confessed by Socrates who admitted that the only Thing which he knew for certain was that he knew no Thing. For the type of Ignourance now exhibited by the Men was an Ignourance which masqueraded as Certain Knowledge which acted in Udder Conviction in accordance with what ever heresay or rumour had most recently come down the Pike, tending to latch on to which ever Theorum best substantiated what ever raw Emotion One was feeling at the time. All of this being the Case & seeing that obviously Francis Key had not been deletoriously affected by the eating of the Phruits I ventured my Self down to the Manphruit Grove as did my Comred Murry, Cotlier, & the Reverand Harqueness, the rest possessing the afourmentioned Qualm’s, & upon reaching it we commenced to partake of the Phruit which possess’s a Flavour achin1 to that of a Peech’s with a hint of Straw Barry thrown in. I my Self was only abel to devour two for as I have said when fully rypened they is quite Large but I carried back as many as I could back to the Encampment with me as did the Other’s. My Burthen was most heavy & the Journey back to our Encampment was not an Easy One for I had been Greedy as had my Companion’s, so upon reaching our Destination I treated my Self to an Other Phruit who’s juiciness is quite the Thirst Squelcher. The Remainder of the Corpse seeing our Grate Bounty as well as the Relish we took in the partaking of which all most instantaneouslie set aside their previous Qualm’s & rushed down to the Grove with our Blessing. All of them sans acception2 rushed away leaving the Quartette of Us there at the Encampment while we all treated our Selves to an Other Phruit, & an Other. In Deed they was addictive as Hades & amidst my Devouring’s I begun to queereye my Self as to weather or not this was a Classickal Case of “Too Much of a Goode Thing” since these Phruits appeared to have an Addictive Quality which could not be fought against no matter how Iron Cladd One’s Whill3. Looking over the Horizone of my Phruit at my Comred Murrie I could espy that he was just as smitten by the Phruit as I, engourging his Self with considerable Vigour, & as if he were a Mirrour I begun to fathom just how far gone I was & how I had o’erstepped the Delphick Mandate4. And as much as it pained me I flung the Phruit I was currantly dining upon from me & bade my Companion’s do the same. But they did not heed me spite of all my Entreatie’s for they looked upon me as a type of Madd Mann & I could not summon Logick to my Aide not that it would of done any goode any Way for the sodden dredd which had entered in to me regarding this delicious Phruit was an indistinct yet pourerfull5 One. A Dred substantiated by the Vision which I then beheld sprawled at my Feat—for all about me I saw that I had devoured many moore of the Phruits then I had previously reckoned for littered about the Area where I had been sitting was the discarded Kore’s of at least a half docen of the Phruits which made me Marvelle that my one Lone Stomach could contain such Multitude’s. And as if my Mind was now finally coming to it’s Censes as it were which had hear to four6 reliquenched the Reigns of my Being to my Stomach now reasserting it’s Self it began to chastise said Stomach by making it to vomit fourth as much of the Prohibitioned Phruit as it could. Thrusting my Self to my Knee’s I ejected much of the Phruit, much of it in Liquidised Form intraspersed with half digestated Hunk’s till I felt my vary Sole7 was being emitted along with it. This would of been sufficiently terribelle but not to be out done by my Spewing Maw my rebellious Cloacca allso made it’s Voice heard via riotous Diaria which shot fourth from my Anise8 before I was abel to cease9 the Oppertunitie to hitch down my Breeche’s. The Filth & the Furry10, the Storm & the Dung which fastly & furriously shot fourth from my Two Primary Bodily Cavaties was what preoccupied me for the Remain’s of the Day. And what Brief Respites I was afforded was still inhabited by wracking peircing Paine thru out the Region’s of my Lower Abdomen, & glauncing fourlourning over at my Companion’s I could as if thru a Fogg see that they was in the selfsame Dyer’s Traits as I, writhing upon the Earth like Warms11, pour retches. Before I knew it the Son12 was beginning to hyde it’s Self & I just barely possassed the Present’s of Minde for it to register that the Rest of the Corpse had not yet returned from the Grove. I tried to summon up the Bodily Strength to at least stand up in ordure to venture out in search of them but my Stomach was having none of it, for I passed the Rest of the Nite & a considerable parte of the Next Day in extreme paine & delirium, wollowing in my own Vomitage & Excrement (Urine as well).
[Murray] Moone-Day the 2nd of August, 1802
Had a rather rough-nite of it. My Co-Capt. Captain Crandall was rendered use-less all of the day. While I managed to get-up to my Feet in the mid-morning not having eaten quite as much he. The Rest of the Corpse not-having come-back from the Grove I thought I had better check-up on them. So despite my Weakness I made it there. But it took a wondrous long-time & I had to stop a coupla-time’s to dry-heave. When I got to the Grove I was not surprised to see the Men all splayed-out upon the Ground begriming their-selves in their own Vomit & Excrement & de-composing Fruit. Cloud’s of Insect’s buzzed all about them & they was also crawling with them. But the Men did not react nor try to swat nor wave them away. Which put me in some Fear that they was dead. But getting closer I could see that they was respirating & also from time-to-time some vomit dribbled from out their Mouths or else a spurt of Flatulence was jettisoned from their Arses. Amongst all our Hard-Ship’s & Tribulation’s so-far on this Odyssey—Starvation, Thirst, burnt by the Sun, frozen by the Snows & Winds, wracked by Unknown-Illnesses, under-going emmense Physickal-Labour’s & Mental-One’s as-well—I’d have to say that this was the lowest I had ever seen the Corpse sink. None of the Men was able to reciprocate my Salutation’s so deadened they was to the Out-Ward World. Tried slapping them about the Cheek’s & sprinkeling them with Water & kicking them but ’twas all in Vain. Thought it a wondrous-huge Shame that after all our Adventure’s thus-far & Close-Scrape’s we should finally be vanquished by a Bunch of Produce. Feeling wondrous-weak I set my-self down with my Back against the Trunk of a Man-Fruit Tree & just sat & watched-over the Men. But I started to feel wondrous-tired & much to my detriment I could not keep from succombing to the Charm’s o’ Morpheos.
[Francis Kaye]
I, Francis Kaye, have taken it upon myself to take up the Pen in order to relate what happened next for the Captains are yet descapacitated! Yes I, Francis Kaye, Lonely Sojourner upon this Earth, doomed to a Thousand Trials like Herakles hisself or else like Orestes constantly hounded by the Furies driven from Land to Land, Shore to Shore, a poor Wayfairing Stranger! But in order to relate what happened next I must in Fact take a step or twain back into the Past, for I adhere to the School of Thought which states that Contextualism is King—or I might better say Quean, for being a Lover of Women to the very Kore & a worshipper at the Alter of the Aeternal Feminine a Quean in my Mind’s Eye holds more sway than any King ever could! So follow me, won’t you, to the Moment when I first held that First Manfruit in my Palm’s, it’s ripe Voluptuousness in the Fullest of Evidences as I cupped it in my Hands about to attack it with my Keen Teeth & Protruding Tong! Quivering with Fear & Delight I took some Time to ponder what I was about to do for I have ever been in Favour of Savouring the Moment & prolonging Pleasure as much as humanely possible! For a Desire delayed is a Desire heightened! But after a half minute or so I could not restrain myself no longer but chomped into the luscious Fruit & immediately experienced the Extremist Exstasty! The Like of which I had never felt before for the Juices shot up into the back of my Throat & the lukeworm pulpy semisolidness which invaded my Mouth was akin to Ambrossia! But then the Boyz kept pestering me & interfering & some of the Juice invaded my Nasal Passage’s making me to sneeze & then a Hunk got stuck up there as well & it took some time for me to recollect myself! Truly I felt as if I was dying of that which had given me so much Bliss, brief tho it was! But the Captain’s telling everyone to just leave me be & eat in Peace I finished off the rest of the Fruit! Of course I wanted more as the Wolf Cubb doth crave the She Wolff’s Teat but I could not have no more till Bed Time, an egregious Few Hour’s, pure Torture, my very Soul wracked with Desire like cursed Ixion upon his Wheel of Fyre! Yet before I knew it it was Time to strike the satchel & Captain Crandall kindley handed me another Fruit & I gobbled it up this Time with no molestation & it had to be one of the most pleasurable Experiences of my Life, an experience so sweet I only hope that my Wedding Night will be even half as pleasurable! But yet one’s Wedding Night so I’ve heard is oft fraught with nervousness & anxiety lest one not be sensually compatible with One’s Soul Mate so my second Time partaking of this Fruit can best be likened unto the Nite after one’s Wedding Night when one has all ready variefied each Other’s Sensual Chemistry & so now rid of all the Jitterz one can taste of that which Married Couple’s the World around taste of sans worries or hesitation making it all that much more sweeter the Second Time Round! The Fruit passively gave way to my Incisor’s & slidd down my throat with hot haste. And before I knew it there was no more to devour & I craved for more & more but there was no more to be had till the Next Day should I outsurvive the Night that is! For I was serving as a Guyanese Pig for the entire Corpus yet I liked to think of myself as a Bold Venturer-Fourth in to Unknown Lands, an Explorifier if you will, treading region’s which no Man’s Hand heretofour had trod! I just knew I would outsurvive the Night for so far as I could tell the Fruit having now consumed two of them this day had done me no irreparable Damage, nay rather the complete Opposite—for I felt infused with renewed Animal Energies! But in spite of this I commenced to sleep a dreamless darksome sleep allmost as delicious as the Manfruit it’s self! But not the whole Night thru mind you! For surpassingly strange sounds round about the Witching Hour begun to invade my Mind which I thought but a Nightmare at first but then upon opening my Eyes & thru various self-pinching’s & self-induced slaps upon the Cheeks I knew these sounds to be real—yay, more than real! My Buxom13 Companions was mumbling all about me in hushed tones of primitive fear having heard the same sounds as I had! And there was little doubt but that the sounds was coming from the Mangrove Orchard down the Valley from us. And a Consensus quickly materialised amongst us which said that the Orchard was haunted & the Fruit cursed! There could be no other Explanation—& Reason dictates that when there can be no logickal Explanation for some Thing the Supranatural win’s out! For the Sounds was dislike anything we’d ever heard before, which is saying a lot the bulk of us being Experts on Animal Sounds! This Determination being determinated upon just imagine my Fear! For in my Soul’s Soul suddenly all the Delight I had felt yesterday metamorphosed into Shame & Fear, Fear & Shame! For it was abundantly clear that I had partaken of delight’s not meant for Mortal Man & that like the Dammed Soul’s howling down there in the Manfruit Grove I would soon pay the proverbial piper for my Trespasses! Alas! Even a Fool could see as much! Even a Fool such as I could surmise that Aeternal Torment’s awaited me! Me, a simple Boutcher’s Boy, a Countrified Bumpkin if you will with Intention’s as pure as a Woodland Faun’s who had never so much as harmed an Insect in his entire Life14 now doomed to an Infinitude of Horrour’s which my Imagination which has always been a most Ripe One begun to conjour up before my Mind’s Eye’s! Self-Hatred rose up within me & Hatred for the Fruit which had so beguiled me, as well as Hatred for all beautifull, pleasaunt, pleasing Things which disguise vast potentialities for Destruction & Corruption within them! Enjambing my Fingarz down my Goulet15 I attempted to rid my Stomach of it’s Vile Content’s but gagg tho I did Result’s was negative! And as if attempting to make up for the lack of output from my Maw my Eyes produced a bevy of Tears creating a Pool which grew at my Feet which I promptly resolved to drown myself in—a willing self-sacrifice to the Angry Deities who’s Grove we had trespassed in & who’s prohibitioned Fruit I had had the audacity to dine upon! But before I could put this Desparate Resolution into action there the Captains was laden with Fruit saying that our Fears was baseless, mere vile Suprastition! Their Word’s unleashing a New Hope within me I suddenly felt all my apprehensions dissipate & my lust for the Fruit returned sevenfold, perhaps as much as ninefold! For when one’s Superiors declare that something is Okeh & that what one has previously feared is not to be feared one naturally places emmense Credence in what they have to say as I then did! O foolish subserviance to Authority! O blind Cow-Towing16 to one’s Supposed Better’s! But the Other’s being equally convinced that we had been over-fearfull & our Desires now being given free Reign we as a United Body rushed down the Slope towards the Manfruit Grove to give full scope to our Carnal Appetite’s! Peer Pressure played a part in it sure but it was a Tide, a Fatal Currant, which could not be resisted! Like a Band of Barbarian’s, like a Horde of Robber Barons, we galloped toward’s the Object of our Desire’s, toward’s this Paradise in Miniature wherein the Basest Pleasures was gratified & Epicurious was King! I shall here gloss over the Orgy of slurping & sucking & chawing & chewing & swallering that took place once we reached our Cursed Destination! The frantick clambering’s out on to treacherous Tree Limbs & the fevered leaping’s & batting’s away at the Fruits which particularly ensnared our Fancies! Some was satisfied with what was near at Hand while Other’s ventured further afield to gain their Heart’s Desire! Some preferred to collect a huge Stockpile before partaking of the Fruits while Other’s just took it on a Case by Case or rather should I say Fruit by Fruit Basis. Some devoured every last bit of the Fruit they had in their Hands whilest Other’s took just three or four Chomps before casting it carelessly aside & starting on another in wanton wastefullness! Yet whatever the Style or Mannor we all eventually ended up in the Same Place! For as they say all Highway’s lead to Romania & all River’s eventually empty into vast Oceanus! For we the All of Us within more or less the same general Time Period started to feel a wracking Paine within our Bowel’s sending us prostrate unto our most Dearestest of Mother Earth’s from who’s embrace, from who’s berths, we could not ever so much as hope to return from! I shall also gloss over the Vile Torrent that gushed from each end of us, the Foul Putrescence, the Unspeakable By-Products of our own Gluttony, the Disgusting Discharge from out of our Mouths & Anuses, some of us having just barely sufficient strength to hitch our Breeches down before the Torrent arrived while Other’s was not so Fortunate! Writhing & slithering, slithering & writhing in our own Filth! Choking on the Food which had earlier delighted us so, soiling ourselves with the half-digested Bounty of the Trees which loomed above us & seemed to laugh at us from on High like malicious Godz who altho aeternal & all powerfull yet immaturely & dishonourably like miscreant deliquent’s delight in the misery & shame of Others! I think I speak for all of us when I say that we wished for Death, prayed for Death, to release us from our Misery’s! But Death was not granted & onward’s the Day rolled till Darkness stole imperceptibly upon us till we was enswathed in the duskiest of Obscurities, not even the faintest sliver of Moonlight invading the cursed Manfruit Grove which now seemed to be but a Rank Crypt! What a wretched, vile Night we spent there as if we was Unfortunate Souls yet alive but deemed dead sealed up in a Tomb, doomed to pass their Final Hours not surrounded by the Balm of Friends & Family encircling their Death Beds but rather to dye alone & forsaken in a loathsome Sepulchre! The Very Worst of Fates, hands down!17 Too wracked with Paine to sleep, too weak to walk away, there we was festering in our own Foul Juices awaiting a Dawn that might never come! But this most horrid of Situations was only to become more horrid! For perhaps an hour after Night Fall or it could have been several—for Time had lost all meaning for us in our Misery’s—we began to hear a subtile stirring in the brush about us & an allmost imperceptible whining which chilled us to the very Kore! And our Horrour was only augmented by the Bestial Grunt’s & Growels of a Horde of Ghosts or Daemon’s which we assumed had come to carry our Souls forth to Hades to suffer Aeternal Torment’s even worse than those which we was now undergoing! But then we heard the telltale munching & slurping & the knocking of some of the Fruits from their Limbs which denoted that these possibly was not Daemons nor Evil Spirit’s after all but rather Entities with Corporeal Identities, for who had ever heard of Ghosts or Phantasm’s dining upon Physickal Fruit! But then I begun to have serious missdoubt’s within my own Mind in this regard! For did not we offer up Animal Flesh & sometimes Fruit’s to Deities & did they not sometimes delight in the Same?! And if the Godz took pleasure in Human Foodstuff’s could Daemons or Ghosts be considered any different?! Wracked by these Doubts which had become every bit as tormentfull unto me as my Bodily Aches & Paines all I could do was hold my Tong & lie still as I could till these Trials & Torments, these Torments & Trials, had passed! But yet I was not spared one Final Ordeal which severely tried what little inward Fortitude I yet had on Hand! For hearing the tramping of one of these Beasts seemingly sent straight from out the Yawning Portcollis’s of Hades it’s self I then felt a sudden, unbearable Weight upon my Back (for I was lying upon my stomach so as to facilitate disgourgement) which promised to squeeze the Life Force straight out of me like a Wineskin run over by the Wagon’s Wheel. And then I felt a noxious Breath breathe upon me at the closest of Quarter’s which hot & rancid as it was chilled me to the very Marrow! Indeed I felt as if it was inhaling my very Existence along with it as my own Breath was squeezed out of me as if caught in a Carpenter’s Vice18, a Vile Succubuss come to steal my Soul! But then just as suddenly it trod away leaving me to breathe more freely & now being on the very Verge of a Life Renewed, an Existance salvaged, a Soul redeemed, what did I do you may ask?! The sudden bestowal of life-giving breath, the humid putrescence, the Terrour I had felt—all coalesced to o’erwhelm my Soul & as I lost consciousness there the shape of the Fruit so beguiling & so sinister revolved in my Inner Vision as I careened away into the Infinite Void! A Fruit-Shaped Abyss into which my Psyche descended for all I knew ne’er to return! But return I did, not reawakening till well after mid-day & most weakly did I raise up my Head to see the bodies of my Comrade’s strewn about the Grove with numerous Flies buzzing all around them, resembling rotting Cadavers! But some of them betrayed Signs of Movement & slowly raised themselves from the Putrid Earth, those that had pulled down their Trousers pulling them back up again! Eventually we all reawakened & sluggishly sat up like Newborns in our Cradles of Filth as if we had just slept a sleep of a Thousand Year’s! But so perverse is the Humane Spirit that we had the Urge to dine upon the Terrible Fruit once more even tho we had been caused to puke & beshit ourselves by it & been subjected to the most ruthless of Pains at it’s Hands! Indeed we was like a Dog panting after it’s own Vomit! But our Hands was stayed by the Admonitions of Captain Murray, who striding gallantly forth bade us to drop the Fruits we had plucked & called us back to our Right Minds, reminding us that we was about to re-partake of that which had nearly killed us! Some of us was not quite so heedfull as Others, however, & so Captain Murry boldly swatted the fruit from the Miscreant’s Palms which sent the Fruits flying sometimes to the Earth, sometimes against the Trunks of nearby Trees, where they burst like the Heads of executed Enemies! And like Chastised School Children Captain Murray led us back to our Encampment, but we was terrifically weak & walked painfully slowly, like Senior Citisens or worse, & we did not reach the rest of the Corpse till nearly Nightfall! And as we silently sipped upon a Mild Broth concocted by our Autochthonickal Woman named the Garter Snake Woman in order to becalm our Stomachs each of us reflected solitarily on the Greed, on the Gluttony, on the Fierce Yearning’s of the Gut, which had led us to such a Sorrowfull State! Truly Man is a Miserable Creature & meritorious of all Ill’s! He deserves Everything he gets, every Bad Thing that comes his Way! For Man is a Worm! A Vile Creature writhing in the Dung & it is only through the Mercy of the Immortal Gods that he has not been wiped clean from the Slate of History—which he will no doubt one day be! May the Gods forgive us Miserable, Undeserving Worms who deserve to be tortured in the fires of Hades for AETERNITY EVERLASTING!
Illustration by De Robles
Akin
Exception
Will
Μηδὲν ἄγαν; “Nothing in excess”
Powerful
Heretofore
Soul
Anus
Seize
Fury
Worms
Sun
Bosom, presumably.
Francis is conveniently forgetting that not only has he hunted and butchered animals throughout this whole journey but he has additionally been guilty of attempted murder against his own brother.
Gullet, presumably.
Kowtowing, presumably.
Cf. the entry for May 13, 1802 in which Francis offers his opinion concerning the worst sort of death.
Vise