"She’s a Moon-Shiner's Daughter but I love her still..."
May 14-21, 1802
[Murray] Twos-Day the 14th of May, 1802
Set-off after par-taking of a meagre Break-Fast. My Co-Captain Captain Crandall’s back was improved so that he could carry his own Burthen at-least the first part o’ the Day. But in the after-noone it got bad againe so we insisted that his burthen be re-distributed amongst the Men. Wonderfully-fragrant Pinez in these Mountainz & a species of Chip-Monk here-to-fore un-known to Western-Man. Crandall quickly made a sketch of it in his Sketch-Booke whilst it loitered near unto us as we rested at lunch-time. A cute little-fellow. It’s got the same white & black stripe’s as our Chip-Monk back-home but the rest of it in-stead of Orange is a wine-dark red in colour. Additionally it’s got extra-long claws on it’s fore-arms just about as long as it’s fore-arms. Which looks wondrous-awkward & create’s quite a ruckus when moving but no-doubt serves it in good stead when climbing or prying-open Nutts or what-have-you1. It loitered around cocking it’s Head quissickally at us & the Men tossed crumbs at but it did not par-take. Not out of shy-ness for it got wondrous-close unto us but probably because the Food did not suit it’s taste. When we got up & slung our Pack’s back upon our Shoulder’s it got frightened & scuttled-off, it’s considerable Nails clicking & scraping off into the under-brush to out-beat the Band. As the after-noone wore-on we could see that the Hessanam was graduallistickally getting nearer unto us. Not because we was descending mind-you but because the River was gaining in altitudinousness. And we could see that additionally it had waxed much more narrower & rapiduous then previous. Decided to put a stop to our Day’s Journey well before sun-down. For where-as when we was fighting the current of the Hessanam our Upper-Bodie’s was feeling o’ertaxed now our Nether-Bodie’s was. For traversing this rugged, un-even yet ever-ascending Land & our Packs being what’s-more heavy as Hades our Legg’s & Feet was howelling for sweet-mercy’s-sake. Came about 22 Anglickan-Mile’s to-day. Sent-out Hunterz after encamping but they came back with no-thing. Which was news wondrous-hard for the Corpse to take since they greatly crave hot, fresh Animal-Flesh after our late-exertion’s. This evening Daniel Kaye set-about setting my Co-Captain Captain Crandall’s broken-nose. We gave him Whiskey before-hand & Thing’s appear to have come-out all-right.
[Murray] Whens-Day the Ide’s of May, 1802
At about mid-day to-day we came-up level with the Hessanam or rather in came-up level with us. It now being a boisterous stream rapiduous & narrow, no more then 20 Anglickan-Yard’s across. The Air is wondrous fresh & crisp up-here & the Sun-Light strong. But we are shaded for the most-part by Stately Pines which produce pine-cones which crunch incessantly under One’s Feet. My Co-Capt. Captain Crandall now carries his Load his back now being restored. Our way is steep & rough. Early in the after-noone we paused to send-out Hunterz in all Directions to build-up our food-supply. Also the Men wish to capture a live-animal in-order that it shall be sacrificed as a Propitiation to what-ever pitiless Godz rule these Mountain’s. For they are wondrous-imposing & our Toil’s are emmense. Harkness but half-heartedly agreed to this for now that he’s burst the Chainz of his Old-Life he’s not so keen on his former-office. And the Men can sense this but they still yearn for religious-guidance now that the Seeress is no-longer amongst us. Dan’l Kaye has attempted to fill that place but the Men are not buying none of it one-bit. Say’s he now has the Gift of Prophesy but if that’s the case, the Men say, how come he didn’t reckon on the severely-compromised root-structure of the Tree which all-most did Hu in? Which he had no answer to. Your’s-Truly led one contingent of Hunterz out to the South-West & we managed to slay a Doe & her Fawn. Who placidly gased on us for quite a-while so un-used to humanoid-contact they was. East-Broadway having brung-along a rope which he had fashioned in-to a Lariat for just such a Purpose crept-up to them. But dis-fortunately it was not the sight of us so much as the smell of us which frighted the Twain of the Deer as he neared unto them. For we was up-wind o’ them & when a sudden-gust came-up you saw their Nostrile’s twitching telling them that some-thing was not right in Denmarke. And then they up & bolted robbing East-Broadway of his Chance at Glory but the rest of us our Gun’s being at-the-ready shot them down before they got too-far. Drug the Deer back to our encampment. The Other-Parties returning well-after Our’s they came-back vacant-handed. The Key’s setting to Work on the dis-fortunate Doe & Fawnling we had cold-bloodedly murthered they care-fully & judiciously set-aside each Organ to be fried up as the Garter-Snayke Woman saw fit. The blood was boiled & even the Intestine’s was salvaged for later useage. For the Corpse is wondrous-hungary for animal-flesh & what could not be eat-up at right this Instant was smoked & jerked. For all anticipate that our Trek across these Mountain’s shall entail emmense Privation’s which we had best ready our-selves for at our own Peril’s. For the Terraine before us looms bleak & rugged as Hades with scanty-hope of Game. In-fact over-dinner my Co-Captain Captain Crandall & I decided to stay here 1 or 2 day’s more. For we can see that the Snow’s still sit heavily upon the Peaks before us & seeing as we had at least been able to garner some Meat here we thought we might as well make Hay while we can. So bidding the Men to par-take heartily & enforming them of our Purposed-Hiatus they all praised our Wise-Dom for they are wondrous-weary. But in-spite of this professed-weariness they suddenly waxed energetickal & lively & axed our Resident-Orfeos to sing a song which he forth-with did which went thus & they then begun to dance to it:
Lemnian-Girlz won’t you come-out to-night Come-out to-night, come-out to-night Lemnian-Girlz won’t you come-out to-night And dance by the Light o’ the Moone? As I was walking on down the Street Down the Street, down the Street A pretty-little Girl I chanced to meet And we danced by the Light o’ the Moone Lemnian-Girlz won’t you come-out to-night Come-out to-night, come-out to-night Lemnian-Girlz won’t you come-out to-night And dance by the Light o’ the Moone? I danced with a Gal with a Hole in her Stocking Her Knee’s was a-knocking & her Shoes was a-rocking I danced with a Gal with a Hole in her Stocking And we danced by the Light o’ the Moone Lemnian-Girlz won’t you come-out to-night Come-out to-night, come-out to-night Lemnian-Girlz won’t you come-out to-night And dance by the Light o’ the Moone? I got a Girl & she live’s on a Hill She live’s on a Hill, she live’s on a Hill She’s a Moon-Shiner's Daughter but I love her still Tell me ain’t you coming-out to-night? Lemnian-Girlz won’t you come-out to-night Come-out to-night, come-out to-night Lemnian-Girlz won’t you come-out to-night And dance by the Light o’ the Moone?
The Corpse was as boist’rous in it’s applause as they was in it’s dancing & they axed Gonne to repeat the Song o’er & o’er again. Seeing them in such highsome-spirit’s we daned to treat them to a shot o’ Whiskey a-piece which was greatly-appreciated. The Men all then retreated to Sleep with Full-Bellies & Contented-Mind’s much aided by the Whiskey which we had allowed them. And ’twas the Final-Instance of any-thing resembling Contentment or Good-Spirit’s that we had for a wondrous-long Time.
[Murray] Thors-Day the 16th of May, 1802
Immediately after break-fest we set-about sending-out more Hunters. Your’s-Truly led one Party while my Co-Captain Captain Crandall led another-one. But neither came-back with any Game save for a coupla Quayles killed by Crandall & Co. The remainder of the Corpse who remained-behind saw-to the renovation of their foot-ware. And we have all-so seen-fit to start constructing Snow-Shoe’s. More Hunter’s went-out later in the Day & they shot a Hare & another Quayle but that’s it. My Co-Captain Captain Crandall & my-self took some measurements tonight the Starz being so bright & we find we have strayed considerably to the South-Ward’s. Which we all-ready knew but it was a bit more then we’d thought. If only we had a Guide but we our-selve’s must be our own Guide’s. The Starz was more distinct & numerickal than I ever remember seeing them before. The Skye was cloudy with them.
[Murray] Frye-Day the 17th of May, 1802
Decided to stay one-more day here in-case we’re able to slay any more Game & all-so to repair our foot-ware & finish-off constructing Snow-Shoe’s. The Kaye’s managed to kill a medium-sized Black Bear. Who’s blood was drunk-up like Fine-Wine & every affordable bit of him was salvaged for later-useage. The Sun being most peircing up here at these Heighth’s plus the Ayre being biting made for ideal-conditions for the dessicating of the Bear’s Meat & drying-out of his Pelt. Some Men threw-up because they had over-did it on the Blood.
[Murray] Saturn-Day the 18th of May, 1802
Decided to spend just one-more day here in-order to store-up more meat & rest. Hunterz was sent-out amongst which was my Co-Captain Captain Crandall & they shot a Stagg. They tried to lassoe it but once againe that just didn’t work-out. A Coupla Quayle was killed all-so.
[Murray] Sun-Day the 19th of May, 1802
Opted for just one more day here at our encampment-site for there is Game to be had here. And up-ahead we fore-see great-travail’s in the looming barrenness. For it’s impossible to down-play the Imposing-Characters of the Peak’s to the West of us. Particularly when one get’s a good vantauge-pointe as me & my group of Hunterz did to-day. For trekking to the south-west ’twas there that we mounted a slope bare at the Top. And towering-above us terrifically was a darkish-grey expanse with intra-mittent Patche’s of Snow ascending all-most infinitely up-ward’s. We came-back empty-handed but in the Men’s Head’s was installed a dread-full fear of what lay-ahead. Another hunting-party brought back no-thing as-well. But they too had gotten a more-expansive View of the Mountainz a-head & been over-awed by the Scenery thus afforded. Swapping-Note’s we axed each-other if the Mountainz had in fact grown since yester-day. For what had once appeared tuff but traversible now was wondrous-imposing. And so fervant the Corpse became in their talk of the Awesome-ness of the Mountainz that my Co-Captain Captain Crandall & my-self was just-about to instruct them to shut-up. But alas we was too late. For they had all-ready secretley co-compacted to insist unto us that they refused to take a Single-Step further till they had secured a Live-Sacrifice in-order to appease what-ever name-less Gods inhabited this Place. And not no puny Sacrifice neither but either a Deer or a Mountain-Goat or Bear. No Squirrelz or Chip-Monk’s nor Fowl this Time. For they wanted the Sacrifice to be a Potent-One & enacted in good-ernest. For they was just sure that these Name-Less Deities who held sway around these Partes was more ancient & more sinister than our’s, as old as the Titan’s if not older. Additionally that should they make it across these Mountainz alive they wanted a Tabernackle to be built here on this Spot. Pending Congressional-Approval of-course. I sware my Co-Captain Captain Crandall was gonna lose-it so wrath-full he waxed to hear this Mutinous-Talk. But I privately told him we had better just humour the Men. For after-all a day or twain of Delay’s just meant that much less Snow we had to trod-thru. Besides I added beneath my Breath the Sacrifice was bound to be propitious for Old Harkness knew exactly which Side his Bacon was fried on if you know what I mean. So Crandall retaining his Peace I signalised unto the Men our Assent to their Proposal. Followed-up by a wondrous-insistent Command to get out-there with Lariat’s & Network’s in-hand right this-instant. Which they straight-away did. But not before they had be-smeared their-selve’s with mudd & tricked their-selve’s out in Twig’s & Leaves & Moss sticking them in their Hat’s & Belt’s & Pocket’s to serve as Cammouflage of-course. In-deed they appeared to take great-delite in constructing their Disguises helping to applicate Mudd on-to one-another’s Faces & sticking sprig’s in each-other’s Tri-cornes like Youngling’s preparing for a School-Pageant. They looked about fit to dance around a May-Pole, & a wondrous-gay Band did they appear as they fanned-out in various Direction’s. And wishing them all-possible Good-Luck Your’s-Truly, my Co-Capt. Captain Crandall, the Garter-Snake Woman, & Jean tarried behind at the Encampment. Old Harkness went-along with the Boyz for he wishes to adopt their life-style forsaking that of a Reverand’s for that of a Back-Woodsman’s. Say’s there is wondrous-much Freedom & Self-Sufficiency in’t which appeal’s to him grately. Mean-while the rest of us just loitered-around. Crandall read, the Garter-Snake Woman mended foot-ware, & Jean just sulked. Ever-since the Death of the Courmourant-Girl she’s been taciturn & listless as Hades. Not that she’s ever been all-that expressive or effusive any-way’s. Tried to talk to her but she would have none-of-it. In-fact she scowelled at me as I drew-close which cut me to the Quick. So I just swerved-away as if I had been on some-other Errand. In-stead sat-down by the river-side & stared at the rushing-water’s which never fail’s to soothe the Mind. For we are ¾’s Water after-all & staring at Water is just-like looking into you’re own Soul. Our Cammouflaged Would-Be Ensnarer’s came back with no-thing & most dejected did they appear in their Greenery gay no-longer.
[Crandall] Mooneday the 20th of May, 1802
So we sit here another Day waiting for the Men to capture a fit Sacrifice very much in the same Strait’s as the Grecians pent up in Aulis Bay. This mourning after a meager breakfest they once again donned their Foliage & set out on their seperate way’s with their Ropes & Netwerk’s while Francis Kaye had even gone so far as to attach the Antler’s of the Stagg we had lately slain to the top of his Head. Many was the geste that was flung about regarding Cissy Pringle having been up to no good last Nite which is why he had of a sudden sprouted these Horne’s. I am unsure what purpose he thought they served—I suppose he surmised that it being Springtime some Dough2 mite be attracted by his magnificant Wrack & drawing nearer unto him be ripe for the ensnaring. Mean while my Comred Muray, my Self, the GSW, & Coltier surpassed the Time in the Mending of our Clothe’s & Boot’s & I read for awhile as well. If one sit’s in the Son ’tis most plesaunt—for at these Altitude’s it’s Rays are potent as Hades & worming3 so I basqued in Helios’s Lite for a considerable quantitie of Time & I felt my Self rejuvenated as if I were a slab of Doe4 arising in an Oven. But I’m afraid I overdid it for I developed a sonburn of no meagre Proportionalism which smarted much. The Men came somberly back to our Encampment emptyhanded once againe which made me proclaim that they had but one more Day to ensnare a fit Sacrifice because we was waisting Time & what’s moor contributating to the Financial Ruination of Danielle Keye visa vee his overdew Library Book. Upon hearing this the Men then porposed to stay up all Nite if necessary in ordure to entrap a live Sacrifice, & after a Hastey Dinar they returned out in to the Wild’s in their Gay Array.
[Crandall] Twosday the 21st Day of May, 1802
The Men dribbled back into Camp as Dawn dawned, their sprigs & other Plant Life hanging from them most fourlournly, & after a brief brakefest they returned to the Field of Battle, exhibiting laudable perseverence but in a Cause which was lamentably the vary heighth & breath of Ridickulousness. But I held my Piece for my Comrade Murry was most insistent that we humour them at least up to a Pointe, for as he rightly state’s One must select one’s Battaile’s carefully lest the Babe be discarded with the Proverbial Bath Water but even he had to seed5 the Fact that this could not go on interminabley. So the Corpse had untill precisely Sonnedowne tonite to produce a Live Animal for Ritualistick Sacrifice or for ever hold their Piece. To their Accreditation they excepted6 this Ultimatum, seeding the Fact that it was probably the Godz’s Whill if they could not catch hold of a Sacrifice after a cupula days’ time any Way. Having no Thing else better to do I crossed the River where none of the rest of the Corpse was in ordure to Hunt & my Comradd Murrie was at first dead set against this for he reminded me of the Predicament I had embroiled my Self in the Last Time I had ventured out by my Self. Which I could not deny was an Argument much in Disfavour of my proposed venture so I nominated the GSW to come along with me which Murry demurred to. But Coulter perhap’s not wanting to be left alone with Mury said she’d go in stead but I bocked at first since she was empregnationed as Hades & I thought that attempting to ford the River in the currant state she was in was some Thing better left unattempted. But she insistated so off we went the Twain of us to the area alongst the River to the southward’s. And as we walked I was about to speak unto Cultier but before a Word could exit from my Mouth she said that if I wished to converse with her she was not averse to it provided that none of it would have to do with her Empregnationed Status. In Deed she had caught me crimsonpawed for I had been just about to enquire about how impending Mother Hoode was striking her leading up to a subtile probing of who the Father could logistickally be. So ascenting to her Demand’s I found I had but paultrey subject matter to expound upon so we trod on in Psilence. But as she walked along ahead of me a Cignificant Quantitty of Pity welled up with in me, for watching her waddle across the Landscape with her bolging Stomach comickally protruding I pondered how she could of ever gotten her Self in to such a Compromising Position. For after all she has all ways seamed to be a Parson7 of Sound Cense unlike the Priestess who let’s Face it was a Reel Character if there ever was One. But I knew well enuff not to dare express this Pity since proud as she is Culter could not help but take it in the Spirit in which it was not intended, thus the Aukwardness could be sliced with a dull knife as we trudged alongst the River’s Side. ’Twas then that my Parvarse Imp rematerialised & I begun to envision doing some Thing horrible, some Thing unspeakable to this pour Mother To Be waddling out in front of me—perhap’s dissheathing my Dagger & plonging it in to her Ripe Belly & ripping her Babe from her Womb then tossing it in to the Roaring River, then finishing off the Disfortunate Mother if she was not dead all ready. A swelling Fear inhabited me & I could hardly restrain my Self from unsheathing my Dagger & flinging it in the River to be rid of all Temptation were it not for the Fear that were I even to touch it for a second or twain I mite not be abel to resist reversing Coarse8 & enacting that which I was trying to prevent. I then begun to tax my Self for harbouring such Fiendish Thought’s but the moor I fought against them the moore mighty they became & I started to dwell upon the fact that all pity has an Element of Contempt in it which was exhibiting it’s Self in my Breast e’en now & what’s moore that Amity when not reciprocated can easily turn in to Hatred which mite just be what was happening now. And I lamented inwardly that I had ever agreed to take Coulter along with me on this Excursion & that no Matter how well I feel I’ve been doing, no matter what Progression I believe I’ve made, my Parvarse Imp shall all ways be ready to reappear at the Drop of a Hatt with threefold the Force. But I was instantaneouslie schocked out of my Micawber9 Reverie by the report of a Rifle rite in front of me, a wispy cloud wafting in to my Face which was acrid to the Taste. It was Colteir who had discharged, & I then heard the Sound of some Thing struggling in the Brush & moaning. And as the Twain of us rushed up to identify just what it was that had been thus shot we discovered it was no Beast at all but none Other then Francis Kaye, who was presently writhing amongst the Vegetation, his Antler’s gyrating in the Ayre like a leaveless Tree in a Tornatoe. I just knew his Wound was fatalistic & strangely I felt little to no Grief but in stead was struck by the literary illusion10 to Actaeon11 that I was witnessing Hystery seamingley repeating it’s Self add nauseam. But the longer he moaned & writhed the moor I began to missdoubt my Pryor Proggnosis, for any One possessing sufficient Energies to enact the all most acrobatick Death Throw’s he was currantly enacting must not be in such Dyer’s Trait’s12 after all. Kneeling down next to him, Culter & I commenced to inspect his Body for wounds but we could find none neither no Blood neither. And so slapping his cheeque’s vehemently we axed him if he could hear us & where he’d been hit, &c., &c., but he just kept on moaning & writhing so we continuated to cheque his Body but we could discover not a Trace of any damage done unto him, nay not even so much as a Scratch. Finally he seized13 his Frantickal Motion’s & in stead his Hands went about groping & roving about his now-still Body as if they had independent Mind’s of their own, feeling about his Torso like Twin Spiders, exploring every Area all most like a Prevert’s groping his unconscience Victim. His Hand’s lingered at his Groin Area for a while till being satisfied with the Relative Health of his Bodily Frame he looked at us with Accusatory Look’s & raised his Self up from the Earth rejecting our Offer’s of Help by the swatting away of our extended Hand’s. He then admitted that he had thought for sure that he had been shot dead but luckily the Shot had missed it’s marque. Coltier then berated him for being so stupid as to place those Hornes upon his Head in the First Place for she had mistook him for a Stagg while Francis accused her of trying to intentionally murther him since he knew who the Father of her would-be Off Spring was. And so heatedly did they argumentate that I had to set off my own Peace14 just to shut them the Hades up. And after the Smoke both Proverbial & Concrete did clear I instructed them that what ever had transpired here today should be enwrapped in the Utmost Secrecey, both the Circumstance’s of Francis’s narrowly missed Demise & the supposed Paternity of Coltier’s upcoming Childe who’s Origen’s so far as I was concerned was of zeroe Import for after all that was no Body’s Busyness but her own. To which they both eagerly ascented15 with little to no Prodding from me & as Evidence of the True Existance of the All Knowing Deities directly after they had spat in to their Palm’s & shook on it solidifying the Deal as it were, there appeared not but Twenty Anglickan Yarde’s from us a comely Dough in the seeming Primacy of her Life with long luscious Lashe’s & a Coat of Solid Aubourne. I then heard a Loud Report & a Hartrenting16 Cry I knew not which came first so muddeled my Censes was. But after the Smoke had sufficiently cleared I found the Dough no longer occupying the Self Same Space as previous & the Three of us then strode froward’s to inspect the Dammage as it were. The Dough was as Deceased as you’re Proto-Typickal Door-Knail for she lay splayed upon the Earth upon a Bed of Kneedles & Leaves with Tong lolling out as quiesciente as the Tumulous. Upon regarding which Francis emitted a Balefull Moan as if his vary Existance was at Stake, & as we attempted to console him it did not require an Eisenstein to surmise that it was not so much the Demise of such a Beauteous Beast that rankelled him as being robbed of a Sacrifice to the Angry Deities of these here Montaigne’s. It struck me as rather phunny that he had not yet bothered to take off the Antler’s which bedecked his Head & I imaginated that he was a Boque morning17 his deceased Mate but when I pointed out to him the Absurdity of his continuating to wear these Antler’s he defended his Self vehemently saying he’d grown rather attached to them & beside’s what Busyness was it of our’s any Way’s? Finally despite his Missgiving’s we prevailed upon him to start bouchering the Beast while mean while Culter & I under took to construct a pole to carry the deceased Beast back to our Encampment upon, which required moor Labour than would of been previously reckoned upon since after all we had only our Sabre’s to rely upon. We really should of brung along an Hatchette with us but as they say Hindsite possesseth the Vision of Eagle’s. I must say that as Expert a Boucher’s Boy as Francis Kaye is I could not help but curse his ineptitude as I cast you’re occasional Glance back his Way as he set about his Werk. For the Antler’s which he had set upon his Head kept falling to the Side which retarded his Advauncement much but yet he stubbornly refused to disencumber his Self from them despite my repeated Appeal’s. For they kept tilting over as he set about his handiwork & to my Mind he was waisting precious Time in the readjustment of which but there was zero arguing with him. Culteir & I & Francis finishing our Werk at about the same Time we next under took to carry the Dead Dough back to our Encampment. Even with Three People it was not easy for as I mentioned the Landskip was rough & uneven but arrive back at our encampment we eventually did & Francis filleted the Dear while GSW superintended the frying up of it. Soon the day began to waxx latesome & the Men sporadically returned to the Encampment with fourlourn posture’s, but when they saw the Remnants of the Dear being roasted they invariably cryed out in accusatory Tone’s, “Why did you kill it?!?!” And Francis gesturing over toward’s Coltier in a manure indicating that it had been her doing she did not see fit to answer. A most melancholy meal we had as the Corpse somberly chomped on their steaming Venison still decked out in their Robin Goodfellow regalia but much to their Accreditation they did not begg nor plead for more time to secure a fit Sacrifice for they had resigned their Selve’s to the fact that it just wasn’t in the Card’s. For the Deities had seen fit to turn aside from them & churlishly refused to furnish them with a Gift that was meant for them Selve’s any way, perhap’s reckoning that it wasn’t comensurate with the Effort.
Illustration by De Robles
The Eastern Alpine Chipmunk, of which this is the first recorded sighting by westerners; now extinct.
Doe
Warming, presumably.
Dough
Cede
Accepted
Person
Course
Macabre
Allusion
See Ovid’s Metamorphoses Book III.
Dire straits
Ceased, presumably.
Piece
Assented
Heart-rending
Buck mourning