[Murray] Saturn-Day the 10th of July, 1802
The Sun-Light begun to wax strident as Hades in the Morning. Staggered like Drunkerd’s under it’s Force. Our foot-ware being majorly-compromised our feet began to get scalded by the hot & salty ground. Also we sweat vast quantities which added to the surplus-saltiness all around us. The shuffling of our numerickal Feet also kicked-up Cloud’s of Salt which got in-to one’s Eyes & Mouth & Nostrile’s causationing a stinging & an augmenting of our Thirst. This-time we was much-more care-full regarding the Rationing of Water tho, my-self & my Co-Captain Captain Crandall keeping a keen look-out as to each Corpse-Member’s water-intake. Besides the scraping of Feet all was quiet as we trekked. Only some-times a Fellow would hiss or sigh when the Heat of the Earth scorched his Sole. Kept walking in Hope’s of finding Shelter but disfortunately there was Zero-Shelter to be had nor was there Zero-Shade what-so-ever. But deeming that we had better just wait-out the Remain’s of the Day’s Heat we constructed make-shift Tent’s using our Bison-Robes & what-ever else was at-hand with our Rifles serving as Tent-Poles. The Corpse being wondrous-exhausted many did not bother to Sup before suckumbing to Sleep. Set Watch-Men but they had no-thing to report the Whole-Night1 thru. Came per-hap’s 40 Anglickan-Mile’s yester-day & today all-told.
[Murray] Sun-Day the 11th of July, 1802
A-rose with the Sun-Set & proceeded-on. No-thing on the Horizon to signify that we are any-where near the Edge of these Waste-Land’s. In-deed the Desert-Land’s we was previously in just a Few Day’s ago is a regular Dangeling-Garden’s of Babylon in comparison with this. This Night we had to reprimand the Boyz several-time’s for attempting to take surreptitious drink’s from their Canteen’s threatening Court-Martial more than once. After Sun-Rise it begun to wax torrid once-again so we called it a Day. The Corpse all collapsed falling-asleep immediately. But not before we collected all of the Water & Food in-order that it not be partaken-of in Secret under the cover of the Men’s make-shift Tent’s. Felt wondrous-strange sleeping out there with-out a Trace of Shelter near unto us. Just us sprawled-out there on the Barren-Earth like Beggar’s in the vast unfurnished Hall of some malevolant Emperour. I’d say we came about 25 Anglickan-Mile’s to-day.
[Murray] Moone-Day the 12th of July, 1802
Proceeded-on in the late after-noon heading north by north-west across these cursed Salt-Lands. Running-low on water & food. Tramped the entire night-thru. Progressed may-be 15 Anglickan-Miles to-day top’s. For this Desert seem’s to have clean-suckubussed all of our Energie’s out of us.
[Murray] Twos-Day the 13th of July, 1802
Started waxing wondrous-windy in the after-noon, the Wind causing our Make-Shift Tents to flap & try to fly-away. By Dusk the Wind was a mighty-one yet we was determined to set-out. As we walked the dust & salt was spitting in-to our Face’s stinging our Eye’s making it well-nigh impossible to see. So having no-other Option we opted by common-consent to walk back-ward’s. Which was actually a nice-change for we found that different Muscle’s in our Legs was being utilised & our Pace actually increased. Kept it up till at least mid-night which is when the Winds sub-sided. And as soon as they had we turned back round & wouldn’t you know it up-there in-front of us was the Silhouette’s of a set of Rolling-Hill’s vaguely-discernible against the back-drop of the Starz. Finally we was reaching the Termination of these cursed Salt-Landz. Which what-ever benefit their Flatness give’s us in term’s of ease of travelling is more than made-up for by the dis-comfort which the Heat & Dust & Salt dole-out. But ’twas wondrous-difficult to determinate just how far-away these Hill’s actually was. We kept pressing-on hoping that it wasn’t a Mirage. But Sun-Rise revealed them to be real & what’s-more they appeared to be Green. And some of the Men upon seeing the Greenness of these Hill’s cried-out in exstasy & broke-out in-to a run in-order to reach them as soon as possible. My Co-Capt. Capt. Crandall & I ordered them to reduce their Pace but they would not heed us despite all our hollering & threatening’s of Court-Martial’s. It was the usual-suspect’s of-course: the Kaye’s, Hu, East-Broadway, & Essex. Got so dammed-angry with them that I was tempted to un-sheathe my Rifle & shoot them in the Back as they ran. But Crandall said we had better just let them go. We attempted to keep-up with them but we soon lost-sight of them in the Distance. But since the Green-Hill’s in Question seemed to be in the exact direction that we was headed-in & appeared none-too afar-off we did not fret over-much. Yet by Dusk we appeared to be no nearer unto our Goal. For the Green-Hill’s in Question yet loomed-up ahead only just a little bigger than before. We hoped that those who had plunged-on a-head would be cognizant of this Fact as-well & thus wait-up for us. But as Night fell & a cloudy moon-less one at-that we set-off our Piece’s to signalise unto them that we was worried about them. But we could discern zero-response. And since it was so dark & since we was so tired we halted & en-camped for the Night where we was hoping for a re-unification on the Morrow. Came I don’t know may-be 35 Anglickan-Mile’s this Day having tramped for a full 24-Hour’s.
[Murray] Winds-Day the 14th of July, 1802
At Dawn we proceeded-on to the Green-Hill’s before us. They wavered up-ahead of us thru the Heat & Cloud’s of Salty-Dust that got kicked-up by our Feet & was wafted-upward’s by Gust’s of Wind. Yet as we trudged for-ward they seemed to grow no closer. But then we saw a Humanoid-Figure up-ahead walking toward’s us thru the Dustiness. With the aide of my Spy-Glass I saw that it was Hu who was waving his Stump around. Soon meeting-up with him my Co-Captain Captain Crandall & I commenced to berate him & his Co-Hort’s for having fled our Presence so hastily yester-day. He apologised profusively & said the Whole-Lot of Them had suffered a temporarie bout of Insanitie. For so intent they was on reaching those luscious Green-Hillz which called-out to them like Syren’s-Song’s. But like us they found that the harder they pressed on-ward’s the less actual-progress they appeared to make. Must be an affect of the Salt-Dust or the Atmo-Sphere or some-thing. But then before they was aware of it Night had struck. But they continuated-on till round about Dawn they found that they had reached the Outer-Skirt’s of the Hillz. After a Brief-Rest they then determinated to send some-one back to reach the Rest of the Corpse whom they had become dis-connected with. That some-one was of-course Hu. So Hu’s Tale being terminated we proceeded-on toward’s the Hill’s. And as we trudged-on we begun to despair that we would not reach them this Day. For once-again not only did they not only appear to not encroach any closer but they rather even seemed to recede. But so thirsty, tired, & wondrous-hungry we was that our out-ward Circumstance’s receded-into the back-ground & we just plunged for-ward. Yet suddenly there we was at the Foot of the Hill’s & we could see Smoke seeping-out from the Tree’s just up the incline. So heading-up there ’twas not o’er-long before we be-held the Kaye’s & Old East-Broadway seated before a Fire. Over which was spitted what looked to be a Wild-Boar. Our reproach’s concerning their separation from us was choked in it’s cribb by the sight of this mouth-watering Delicacy appearing before us. We was further enchanted by the Sight of a small muddy pool near-by containing Water. More like a big puddle than a pool really. The Men rushing toward’s it we bade them to at-least strain it thru a Bandana or Twain to remove the Contaminent’s. But it all-most goe’s with-out saying that this Advise went un-heeded. And the Men flinging their-selves down upon the Earth begun to lap-away at it like a Pack of Ferile-Canine’s. Had to turn my Face away for it was ugly & it was what’s-more apt to shake a Guy’s general-veneration for Humanitie. For they was pushing each-other out of the Way & so out of their Mind’s they was that I sware more saliva from the Men ended-up in this brackish-pool than Water they’d managed to extract from it. None-the-less they eventually drained it dry & as could be easily predicted they commenced to vomit up the Water’s which they’d drunk. And in-deed so dis-combobulated their Stomach’s had become from the slurping-up of the Poole that few of them was able to keep-down the Boar-Meat which they’d ingested. Came per-hap’s 20 Anglickan-Mile’s this Day.
[Murray] Thors-Day the Ides of July, 1802
Slept-late due-to our over-exertion’s of yester-day. After a meagre break-fest proceeded-on up to the Top of the Hill we was currently on. The way-up was none-too-easy & we only hoped there would be more Source’s of Water up there. For the Men had drained the Pool we encountered yester-day to the very Dregg’s. Upon reaching the Apex we requested that Francis scale one of the impressive Pine’s that was there to get a better-view of the Lay o’ the Land. And as he commenced to scale the Tree like a Squirrel-Man we sat us down for a Rest while some went-out on a brief Hunting-Expedition. A Stagg was killed all-most right-off the Proverbial-Bat which was a Positive-Omen. Started to carve it up despite the fact that one of our Best Butcher-Boyz (Francis) was yet up in the Tree. He was up there a wondrous-long Time so we begun to wax worry-some. Called-out to him & shot-off our Piece’s but he did not reply. Could swear this had happened before2. Naturally we sent up the next-best Climber after Francis which would be his Brother Daniel. So he clambered like a second Spyder-Man on up there till we lost him amongst the Pine-Needle’s. The Reader can of-course guess that Daniel did not return unto us neither. And what with the Day dragging-on we sent yet another Soul up there that being Elstonn Gunne. He did not come down neither in despite of all our yelling’s & setting’s-off of our Fire-Armz. And before one knew it it was all-most Dusk & here we had 3-Men disappeared up a Tree. Cursed the Kayes in my Mind but not Gunne since I was sure he had simply got drawn-up in their Follie. It seemed Follie to send yet Another-Person up-there but yet we did not dare let Night fall with 3 Men vanished like that. Vociferous was the Debate’s as to what could of happened to them. Some said the View must be so lovely up-there that they’d gotten all en-raptured in Poetickal-Eckstasie’s. Some said they may of been snatched-up by Giant-Bird’s & carried-away as Prey. While Other’s opined that we had some-how stumbeled upon a Place of considerable Cosmic-Import & that they’d got sucked-into some sort of Mystickal-Vortex. Seeing as how we could not just allow them to stay up there as Night fell Your’s-Truly volunteered his-self to climb-up there & see what the Matter was. This Time it was wisely-decided that a Rope be fastened-around my Waist. Started to climb & was making good-time all-tho the Tree was emitting Ton’s of Sapp & my Hands & Clothes was just full of it & so many Needles adhered to me so that I begun to resemble a Pork-O-Pine. Finally could see a Form up-above me sitting-upon a Branch so I called-out to it but it did not reciprocate. So climbing-up to it discovered it to be Gunn. Who was apparently awake for he had his Eye’s wide-open. But he had a dumb-kind of look on his Face & a cloudiness in his Eye’s which indicated a State of Drunkenness. He did not say no-thing when I tried talking straight in-to his Face. Obviously he was under some sort of Spell so I slapped him on the Cheek’s. But this did no-good neither but only elicited a stupid-sort of smirk even though I struck him pretty-hard. Mean-while I could see another Humanoid-Form up-above so giving-up on Gunn I clumb my Way up to it. And it was none-other then Daniel Kaye. Who was stuck in the self-same sort of Stupour & I could not snap him out of it no-matter how loud my Shouting’s nor how vigourous my Slap’s. But before I had the chance to climb-up further I felt a Lethargie o’er-come me. A pleasaunt sort of Lethargie which slowed my movement’s & dulled my Sense’s & I could feel a big dumb Grin forming on my Face in spite of my-self. It felt good tho I knew I was in Danger so just before succumbing to this wondrous-pleasaunt Sensation I gave a Tugg or Twain on my Rope to signalise that all was far from okeh in the State of Den-Marque. But I fear the Tugg’s was wondrous-weak for I had been sapped of Strength & Will.
[Crandall]
Feeling a gentile tugging upon the Rope which engirt the waste of my Comrad Murry we tugged on it in return but received Zeroe Reciprocation, so we then resorted to yelling & the setting off of our Armz which also elicited no Response. The Corpse then begun to waxx hysterickal, saying that surely we had trespassed upon a Mystickal Vortex which we could not clearly contemplate the Dimension’s of, it most likely being a Tear or Rip or Incision rather in the Time Slash Space Continuum & our Compatriot’s having got psucked in to it was now residing on an Other Plain of Existantialism in which their Mind’s had been separated from their Bodies & they was now floating thru World’s of Hot Gasses & Incongruous Shape’s for ever doomed to wander disembodied for all Aeternitie thru a Universe which made Zeroe Cense unto them nor would it ever would. Infurriated by this Inane Postulating I yelled at them to shut the Hades up upon Paine of Court Marshall & then I chose the next Volunteer, which was Delancey—who much to his Accreditation did not complain nor dally but just axxed for a shot of Whiskey first to fortify his Nerves which I dually3 granted. It need not of required an Eisenstein to have predicted that Delancey did not come back nor did we hear any Word from him despite all our Hollering & Discharging of our Fyre Armz. In Deed for all we knew our recedent “Warrior Slash Poet” had been clean wiped out from the Anal’s of Contemporaneous Life. In Reaction to which the Corpse that is what was still left of us begun to waxx most lugubrious, for we had now lost the Kaye’s Bros., Delancey, Gonne, & last but not least my Comrade Murry & they was all morned4 as if they was Dead & likely to stay that Way. The next Volunteer which I chose was Essex who unlike Delancey showed his Self most unmanley by beweeping his awefull Fate & by hesitating most agonisingly to scale the Fatefull Tree which had claimed so many of his Bretheren. He too begged a Dram of Whisky from me but I denied it him for I was offended by his pussilimanity & Lack of any Cense of Selfsacrifice, so up he went only to disappear like all the Rest. East-Broadway met the selfsame Fate, & finding there was just me, a Cingle-Armed Mann & two Womyn Folke left I volunteered my Self to join the Rest of the Corpse up there in the Grate Beyond from whose bourne seemingly no Mann return’s, & I must confess that I also started to seriously entertain the Notion that there was a Rent in the Space Slash Time Continuum that was psucking Corpse Members up in to its voracious Maw. But yet the Scientifickal Side of me prompted me to assass the Situation from the Perspective of Botannie. For this Tree in fact may have Properties which had elicited this Tragedy unbeknownst unto us, so the very least I could do was protect my Self from what ever Venomous Properties it may or may not possass. So what I did was encover every Bear5 Anglickan Inch of my Body & tye not one but two Bandana’s over my Nose & Mouth & encase my Hand’s with in Glove’s. I then set about climbing up the Tree which had all ready most likely claimed the Live’s of so many of my Cumrad’s & discovered there was Psapp6 aplenty & in Deed ’twas the psappiest Tree I had ever come across. And it wasn’t long before I encountered the first Corpse Member (Essex) who appeared to be enlocked in a Sunday Stupour of no smallish Dementian’s, for try as I mite I could not reawaken him. Clambering up past him I could see Other Corpse Members in a similar status hanging up there in the Branche’s like overlarge Fruit & I knew not what to do—but ’twas selfevident at any Rate that I had to some how get them awake & that I had better experementalize on Essex first & that what ever worked on him should be applicated unto the Rest. So clambering down to the ground I gathered up a few supplies which I needed for my Experamentalizations, namely Whiskey & Water, & clambering back up again I first splashed Water in Essex’s Visage but it remained as dumb & dreamy as before. I then tried the Alcohaul, at first just waving it ’neath his Nose to see if the meer Smell would bring him back to his Censes but bring him back to his Censes it most assuredley did not so I then tried plying him with it but it just dribbeled out the Side’s of his Mouth which was a Waist7 of Good Whiskey. I next tried inserting some in to my Mouth & then spraying it betwixt my Taut Lipp’s in a Fine Myst strait in to his Face, but this also had no visible affect. He just continuated staring out in front him at some Thing which seemed to slightly amuse him—why even the half of his Face which was downturned in to a Frown seamed to be a pleasauntly bemused rather then sadd. Seeing as how these Experementalism’s had not reeped the desired results moor Rigourous Measure’s was in ordure, so clambering back to solidified Earth I then lit a fyrebrand ensheltered in a Pot which after assenting once again to up where Essex was I then applied the fyrebrand unto the back of his Hand, tentatively & briefly at first but seeing as it had no affect I held it there longer, & then witnessing him Twitch & Shutter I kept holding it there because I could see there was some suckcess transpiring. Essex then did scream & start to flail about, & loosing his Balance he fell from the Branch upon which he was perched & plommeted downword’s—not all the way down to the Ground, tho. “Cap’n, Cap’n! Why did you do that to me! Why oh why?!” he screamed accusingatorily & in as Few Werdz as I could I communicated unto him the Dyer’s Traits8 our Corpse was in do to some hidden malicious Properties of the Tree. Seeing as how I had met with some Suckcess I began to scale further up the Tree once again intent on reawakening more of my Compatriots from out of the dredded Clotches of whatever Spell they had unknowingly suckumbed unto, & the next I met was none Other then our recedent Orpheos. And this time halting just below him I then applied the firebrand to the exposed part of his anklette for should he loose his footing I mite be in some Position to salvage him & at least prevent him from falling too farr. Just as his Legg commanced to trembelle I drew the fyrebrand away but alas ’twas too late—for reflexively he kicked me right up under my Chine & so emmense was my schock & payne that the fyrebrand slipped from my Grasp while I fell backward’s propelled by the mighty Kick enacted by Gun. And after tumbling down from Branch to Branch I eventually thudded upon the Earth stunned nearly out of my Censes, landing face upward’s to idylly take in the unfolding Tragedy unfolding up above me. For the fyrebrand must of got stuck in a branch & the Tree being dry it caught on fire & soon it could be said to be ablase. Gone managed to dissend down from where he was but then we heard Howell’s which put me in Fear that the Rest was being roasted alive. But soon Other’s emerged at various Rate’s of Velocity, some plommeting to the Earth with little to no Hindarence whilst Other’s clambered down from Other Treez having had the presence of Minde to leap onto adjacent ones. Till finally all were accompted for including my Comred Moray who’s Clothes was yet smoaking & he was coffing most boisterouslie, pour retch. The Fyre then waxxed more furious & we had to flee the Area & so we set off in grate haste continuating to Head due north by northwest as if in a Dream. Toward’s the end of the Day we gained an emminence from which we was afforded a goodly View of the lay of the Land up ahead & we was happy to see that all was rolling Green Hillz with some Higher Rocky Peaks occasionally arising from the Verdancy around it. But turning back to from whence we’d come we saw vast billows of dark smoak arising up in to the Firmament & I cursed the kick which Gunn had thrust upon me which causationed me to drop the fyrebrand which in turn causationed all this Devestation & Deforestation9. Wordlessly we took in this site which would spell the End of many a Stately Tree & proceeded on a bit further till we encamped for the Nite having come about Twentey Anglickan Miles this Day.
Illustration by De Robles
Day, actually.
It had. See the entry for September 15, 1801.
Duly
Mourned
Bare, presumably.
Sap
Waste
Dire straits
The trees which the Expedition had encountered were most certainly Eastern Lethian Jack Pines, whose sap in addition to being flammable is also a mild opiate.