[Crandall] Twosday the 12th of January, 1802
I slept late & upon awakening I found that the downpore of Ash had seized1 & if One had to hassard a Guess One would have to say that about Three to Four Anglickan Inches had fallen yesterday. I instantaneouslie begun to prepare for an Other Expedition to search for my Cumrade Morry & if we did not localise him to pay a call upon the Nulubez’s. Francis & Daniel Keye flipped a Medallion to see who would join me—for they the Twain of them is anxious to learn of how their Beloved Priestess is getting on as well as her Babe. Francis having won said Medallion Flip he quickly collected his Thing’s & being set up with Two Day’s worth of Vittels courtesy of GSW we set out downriver towards the Shore thru the Ashe Strewn Waste Land’s. Along the Way we espied a lonesome Dough2 enshrouded in Ash as if in morning & she did not even bother to flea3 when she saw us see her, but just kind of awkwardlie loitered where she was & tilted her head fourlournly. Heedless to say we did not shoot her & reaching the Ocean we found that it was so interlarded with Ash that it could rightly be classified as a Semi Solid, having an unpleasant way of obscenely lapping away at the Sands like pudding spuddering from the Lipps of an Idiot. Some ashen See Gauls4 selfconscienceley crept across the Beech & poked with their Beek’s in to the Ashes & much like the Dough did not seem to mind our Approach, the Ashes evidently having had a deadening affect upon their Psyche’s. Coming upon Centennial Rock5 I gave it a Nod of Recognition & I then brooched the Topick of “the Incident.” Francis feels Intensive Gilt for giving way to Animal Impulse’s too unspeakable to mention & excorciates his Self for it mercilesslie despite the Fact that Danielle has fourgiven him. “So why not fourgive your Self then if you’re Brother has forgiven you?” I axxed to which Francis respondated, “Cap’n, Conscience is a curse much worse then Sisyphus’s & I cannot relent against my Self. I sware some Times my Self Hatred is so grate that I’ve considered putting a Bowel6 in to my Head.” At this Tear’s sprouted from his Eyes & I tried my Best to consulate him, quoting to him Kleosiddarthos’s famous Maxxim that Humanes was bourne to hurt One an Other: that that’s what we do as a Species, & what’s moor the Delphick Orackle teaches us that every Thing—including but not limited to Self Flaggellation—must be kept with in a Median. But seeing that my Consulation’s was having but Affect I confessed unto experiencing some of the same Self Loathing that he was now experiencing all tho I did not delve in to Specifics—that he could count on me as being a Secret Brother in Payne as it were, which affected him much. And in Deed he axxed me for a Hugg which I freely granted & we two ash-covered Weighfarers stood there embracing in front of the oozy Ocean like the last two surviving Member’s of the Humanoid Race. And just as I was congratulating my Self for my compassionate Humanitie my Parverse Imp conjured up an Image of me suddenly withdrawing my Sabre from it’s Scabbard & plunging it in to the unsuspecting Gutts of Francis. A Shutter7 ran thru me & spite of my Best Intention’s I could not eject the Image from my Minde. Here I thought I was doing so well but now these troublesome Thought’s came creeping back in—not creeping but rather leaping. Of coarse if I killed him ’twould be a Crime easily concealed—I would only have to concoct some Storey that we had come under Attaque or that we had become separated, drag his body in to the Serf8 or better yet leave it where it was, no Body ever suspecting that I had been the One who had sleighed9 him. Accept10 for may be my Cumradd Murry, whom I have confessed my Fiendish Propensities unto & who mite smell a Proverbial Ratt. But he could only suspect & I guess would not denounce me do11 to our longstanding Friendshippe—but I feared that should he privately confront me with the Matter I would instantaneouslie disgorge my terrible Secrete unto him & then either be forced to murther him or else my Self, or both. Which made me think that to avoid all of this I had better just kill my Self tite now so as to spare him all the Trouble but then Francis writhing out of my Arms ejaculated, “Cap’n, it’s Cap’n Murray!” And looking downshore to where Francis was now pointing I saw a Figurine walking alongst the Sandz & by the general Profile despite the Billow’s of Ash kicked up by him I could see it was in Deed my Comred Morie in the Flesh, walking brisquely towards us, Rifle slung over shoulder, the same ruff & ready Fellow same as he ever was, waiving one of his Arm’s in recognizance of us, his Tricorne slightly askance upon his Noggin, saying “Topp o’ the Mourning!” in a phoney Irish Accent as he is prone to do whilst under the Influence of a Spirit of Jockularity. We instantaneouslie begun to swapp Notes as to what had transpired since last we saw one an Other. He said he had retreated to the Nulubez Village after unsuccessfully trying to find our Forte amidst the Vulcanoe’s Carnage & he said the Doing’s over there was bordering on the Surreal: that the Priestess & her Babe was being revered as Devinities & the Ruthenian Saylorman was now their Flunckey & Intermediarie, that the Village was struggling from the Aftermath of the Eruption but that some how they had seen it as a Maninfestation of Alexandros’s Pourer12. “In short Shit’s getting weird over there which is why I took the first Oppertunitie to get out. It’s kind of hard to put it all in to Word’s & I guess you’ll have to see for you’re Self.” I told him that I would advaunce on to the Village fourthwidth whilst he & Francis could return to the Forte for I thought Francis’s foolishness mite only further complicate Matter’s13. Foraging ahead to the Nulubez Village I encountered a horde of Yeungling’s frolicking in the Ashes & they immediately quit what they was doing & brought me to the Habitation where the Priestess & Childe was. Instantaneouslie I perceived a straunge aura in the aire, for all was silent & still, & numerickal seated Yeungling’s & Elder’s was lunging14 around on the Flour15 gasing enrapturedlie froward’s & making my Way froward’s I came upon the Orackularess seated upon the Throne lately abdicated by Hu, her Babe cradled in her Armz, apparently sleeping, her Face encaked with blue paint & her eyes framed with thick eyeliner, while encircling her Head was a Wicker Crown as crude as it was eyecatching, & so striking did she appear that even I could bearly bear to gase upon her. I was about to axe what in Hades was going on here when up stepped from out of the Shadow’s the Figurine of the Ruthenian Sailor, who grabbed me by the Shoulder & in hushed Tonez said, “Do you wish to speak to Her Holyness? I’m afraid that’s out of the Question rite now because She & the Mystickal Childe is slumbering.” He addressed these Word’s to me as if I were a Stupid Tourist who had strayed in to a Section of a Museum not open to the Wider Publick. I begun to protest & writhe out of the Ruthenian’s grasp but with surprising Mightiness he grasped me all the harder & said, “Please fallow me outside if you would be so kinde.” So I did & once we had reached the Outside I pushed him violently away from me & enquired just what in Hades all this was alluding to exactly & what’s moor what he was up to acting as some sort of Personnel Body Garde unto the Priestess. “She’s graduated from that partickular Appellation,” said the Ruthenian. “Now she’s known as Her Holleyness or else the Blessed One or the God Mother or the Mother of God.” I chuckled & barged back in to the Habitation & loudly ejackulated, “Get these Flunkies out of here rite now because I want to talk to you!” But of coarse this awoke the Babe which was it’s Intended Affect while mean while the Yeungling’s & Senior Citisen’s rose up around me & I thought for a Moment they was going to rip me apart like the Maenads did with Pantheos16. But then the Priestess setting her balling Babe down strode fourth & interceded for me saying, “Guyz, guyz! Let him be! He’s a Friend!” And seeing as they did not fully comprehend her she gave a cupula them a good shove rather moore forcefully then perhap’s was all together necessary sending them strait to the Flour while at the selfsame Time making her Intended Massage17 abundantly clear. Then they started to file out accept for the Ruthenian who had reentered the Habitation & was now standing at the Door nodding & muddering reassuring Phrase’s to the Departing Crowd in the Nulubez Tong. After the last of them had exxited she requested that the Ruthenian also go outside for a Spell & you should of seen his Face, pour retch. Obviously he was terribly loathe to do so but seeing that the Searess was in serious he none the less obeyed & left just us two18 there alone. But before we commenced our Dialogue I peaked thru the Flapp of the Door to check if the Ruthenian was Eve’s Dropping & I could see him no where so spinning back around I then said unto the Searess, “Now just what do you think you’re doing here, Priestess? Or should I say You’re Wholliness19? Installing your Self as Quean? Crowning your Self as Empouress? Have you taken leave of your Census20? Did you never hear of the Fate of Captain Cooke? No?” I then commenced to summarise every Thing leading up to the afourmentioned Captain’s untimely demise, spending considerable Time recounting the explicit detail’s of his Death along with the Immediate After Math, stressing the Fact that once the Autochthone’s on the Island’s he had landed upon realised he was not a Deity after all but mere Bone & Flesh like any other Mann they murthered him fourthwidth. In Reaction to which cying a loudsome Cy21 as if to say she was relunctantly putting up with my Antique’s22 merely for Olde Thyme’s Sake she wearily took her Wicker Crown from off her Brow & addressed me thus: “Phillipp, you are as naive as ever, if not moore so. You think I chose this Path for my Self? If I’d of had my Druther’s I’d be back in New Delphi with my beloved Subpriestesses, yacking it up & living the High Life. But no—me & my Boy Childe here have had grateness thrust upon us & from our Destinies we cannot—nay, we shall not—retreat. The Godz have got grate Thingz in Storage for us & they shall not be denied. For the Future of this Entire Continent lie’s in our Handz & it is a Responsibility we cannot shirk. The Next Chapter in True Religion is now being opened & this Liddel Guy here (pointing her Index Fingar at Alexandros, whom by now had seized his weeping) is the Key.” I told her flatley that she was talking like a Crasy Woman to which she replicated, “You know what, Captain? Some Time’s One must get a little crasy in ordure to set Thing’s rite. It seam’s crasy to me too, you know. You think I enjoy sitting up there so stolidly, trying to maintain my Maidenly Dignity in front of all these Prostate Devotee’s, all the while having to Pea? Which remind’s me—excuse me for a Moment...” And with this she retreated in to the Dark Shadow’s of the Habitation & did her busyness as I turned my back unto her in all becoming Modestie. When she finally returned I said, “What’s with the Blue Paint, by the Way?” “I don’t know,” she said, “Dimitry23 told me that the Colour Blue denote’s Pourer & Sanctitty amongst these Peeple so he advised me to paint my Self so.” “Don’t tell me you really trust this Ruthenian,” I said quietly, scanning my Eyes around the Room to ensure that he had not snuck in unannounced. “Do you really think he’s got you’re best Interests at Hart?” The Searess then beheld me with Arched Brow & said, “Demetrey’s good as Gold,” at which I just chuggled & said “I’m sure he is,” then quoting Kleosiddarthos who say’s that “All Gold’s Fool’s Gold.24” She then assured me that she placed Implicit Faith in him since they had had several Hartfelt Conversation’s in which he had confessed that he had been straying for so long but that now ever since he had met her & her wunderfull Childe that here was what he had been looking for all along. I then flatley told her that this Ruthenian was a shiftless, conspiratorial Character if there ever was One & I entreated her to come back with me to the Forte where she could continuate to live out a relativistickally Normal Life in safety amongst Reel Friend’s as well as enjoy a modicum of Privacy. “I wish I could but I can’t,” she replied. “O Phillipp, Thing’s is far too far gone for that. You have no Ideation. I’m fully invested & there’s no turning back. Besides they would not let me leave even if I wished to. You know what the Scenario was with Hu: now increase it tenfold—nay: an hunderedfold. For my Babe has thoroughly proved his Divinitie & perfourmed every Thing that these People’s Prophesy’s have predicated25—& moore.” I then axxed just what she meant by All of the Above & she in turn axxed me if I recalled that when last we’d seen her & her Sun her Sun had suckcessfully razed a Mann from the Dead. I replied that I remember a Body arising from the Burial Ground & the Hobbobb surrounding it but that to me it was just a coincidence because as any School Childe know’s Coralation don’t equal Causation. The Orackularess replied that I was perhap’s moor rite then I knew, for just after the Episode in Question when all the Autochthone’s was thrilled as Hades that this Mann—who turned out to be a rather Obscure Figurine in the Village lacking in Social Capitol—had arisen againe he later that same nite parrished againe despite all her & her Childe’s best effort’s to revive him. As per the Dictates of Humane Nature the Autochthone’s being quick to enthuse was just as quick to unenthused, & she & her Babe soddenly became the brunt of vocal recrimination’s enunciated by some Skepticks amongst the Villagers. The Ruthenian Sailor stepped fourth & argued that even tho it had been but a brief reawakening it was a reawakening none the less & even the space of a few Hour’s was a Net Boone to the Children of this Mann who got to enjoy his Company for at least a Few Hour’s moore. The Priestess admitted that the Ruthenian had been invaluable at staving off the Doubt’s of the Nulubez’s, assuaging their Fear’s & quieting their Doubt’s but eventually the Skepticism spread as it tends to do like a Virus till the Village became intent on ejecting her & her Babe on their own Petard’s. The Yeungling’s alongst with their elderly Caretaker’s escorted her & her Babe out to the outskirt’s of the Village perhap’s to murther them when soddenly she said a Damon entered in to her & holding her Childe aloft she bellowed that they had better repent them Selves of their Folie or else the Wrath of the Godz would be incurred, & wouldn’t you know it just then Mount Pathos erupted & the Autochthone’s was cowed & she & her Babe being instantaneouslie reenstated in their Goodley Graces they’ve been treated like Royalty ever since. I congratulated her on her goode Luck but she said Luck had no Thing to do with it & then I heard a discrete clearance of the Throat behind us & there stood the Ruthenian Sailor loitering & grinning near the Door. I told him to leave us be but the Priestess then said, “No, Demitry, don’t go. Come empty my Receptacle & then bid the Faithful to come back in. Tell them me & the Babe are hungary & we’d like some of those tasty Toobers they cook up so Nice as well as some Chicken Broth.” Taking this as my cue that our Conversation had terminated I enquired just where in Hades Gone had gone off to & I was told that he was probably lingering out by the Graveyard as was his Want, strumming on his ramshackle Guitar & singeing his Lonesome Songs whilest sipping on Alcohallick Porridge, pour retch. Disgusted with my Present Company & additionally naving no Thing else better to do I wandered down to the Graveyard & there our Recedent Orpheos was seated upon a bed of ashes in the diaphonous Twilite stromming upon his Guitar, an Amphora on one side & a stray Dog lolling on the Other. He looked so either blissfully contented or doomfully resigned that I at first refrained from disturbing him but then he caught site of me & I axxed him to debrief me about the Going’s On in this Village since I’d last left. He said Shit had gotten weird & I told him that that’s what Murry had said as well, & he went on to verify every Thing that the Priestess had recounted unto me. I happened to notice that the Dog seated nearby was gnawing on an Humane Ear which did not set rite with me so I shooed him away & covered o’er the Ear with Ashes. “What did you go & do that for?” axxed Gonne. “He wasn’t hurting no Body.” I didn’t answer & instead axxed him why he had retreated down here with the Dead & he said that he had grown weary of sitting all the day long with the Autochthone’s paying attendance upon the Searess & what’s moore the Ruthenian was getting on his Nerves. Beside’s any Way’s there’s some Thing calming & reassuring about this Graveyard he said. It really put’s Thing’s in Perspective. Returning unto the Priestess’s Habitation I found she had resumed her Throne & some Autochthone’s was in attendance along with a cupula Krones preparing Dinnar. The Autochthones watched in Reference26 as the Searess ate her stew which which I also partook of after having vouchsafed that it contained no magickal Mushrumps. The Ruthenian sidled up next to me & all during Dinar espressed his gratest Admiration for the Priestess, calling her a “Prime Specimen of the Feminine Devine” posessing a “Cosmick Consciensceness” unlike any he’s ever seen before, to which I answered that she was an Unusual Woman in Deed but prone to all of the suprastitions & Barnyard Logick that Womyn of her particular Geologickal Location & Curriculum Vitae was prone to. For she harkened from the Same Town as I & I grew up with her Type all thru my Yeunglinghoode, in fact my Yeunglinghoode had been vary much shaped by Womyn such as her, & that even tho they had much going for them as Humane Being’s in Other Arena’s such as Commune Cense they was decidededly lacking. The Ruthenian begun to engage in Protestantism but I said that I knew vary well what he was up to with his Toadeyizm & his talk of Mystischism—he was just latching his Self on to the Preistess & her Babe as a Distraction, as a Play Thing for him to distract his Self with because he was bored with Life. That he in Pointe of Fact knew not what in Hades to do with his Self but was just grasping at Proverbial Straw’s with which to fill up his Inward Emptiness. He pretended to take emmense Offense at this & I could sware I witnessed Reel Tear’s well up from his Tear Ducks27 & he did say, “You’ve got me all wrong, Captain. Let me prove my Sincerity to you…” And with this he placed the forefingar of his Left Hand up against his Left Cheeque—& being the Possessour of long, sturdy looking Nails not unlike Gonne’s on his left hand which is for picking porpose’s he begun to press it & twist it into his Flesh like the Shoemacher doth the All28 till the Blood begun to gush. I emitted a Crie so lowd at seeing this as if I was the one undergoing this Torture that all of the Congregation turned our Way & eventually some Old Womyn came over & saw to his Wound, applying Moss to his Cheeque while mean while the Searess had come over to inspect what was going on & the Ruthenian being unable to talk she axxed me what had transpired. In Response I responded that the Ruthenian had mutilated his Self in ordure to prove to me his Sinceritie—a Sinceritie which I now holehartedly believed in & so now in stead of thinking him an Imposteur I believed him to be a Maddmann. The Old Womyn then set about sowing up his Wounds with some sort of Thread of indeterminate origen & plied him with Alkohaulick Porridge till he was thoroughly inebriated & not long after that I succame to Sleep.
Ceased
Doe
Flee
Seagulls
Crandall had earlier named it Sentinal Rock.
Ball, presumably.
Shudder
Surf
Slayed/slain
Except
Due
Manifestation of Alexandros’s power
One wonders why Crandall even invited him in the first place.
Lounging?
Floor
Pentheus
Message
Crandall seems to have forgotten about Alexandros, which would in fact make three.
Holiness
Senses
Sighing a loud sigh
Antics?
Apparently this is the Ruthenian Sailor—who, let it be remembered, admitted to not being Ruthenian after all. But maybe it was a triple-fake?
The Analects of Kleosiddarthos 4.5.4
Predicted
Reverence
Ducts
Awl