[Murray] Thors-Day the 11th of October, 1800
Set-out very early, well-before Dawn. Ice now congealing on the river-bank. My Co-Capt. Capt. Crandall up & perambulating. His Bags appear much-lighter too. But he remain’s wondrous-quiet & pensive. The River advances in straight-froward Fashion & we make Goodley-Progression with the wind with us. Wished to do some recoinnotiering on-foote today to re-create my-self & may-be shoot some Game as-well. But once I got on shore & started walking realised Reason was going so fast that I would not be able to keep-up. So re-boarded Reason sad at having lost the Opportunity for some much-needed Solitude. For these Guy’s are simply too-much some-time’s. Passed one creek on the south-side which we called Crandall’s Up & Walking Creek & later-on another-one on the north-side which we called Winter’s Coming Soon Creek. In the mid-afternoon we encountered 2 Canoes with 4 Trapper’s & their wares. Paused for a brief Parlay with them. All 4 of them Gaul’s wondrous-eager to make it to New-Babylon before winter sets-in in-ernest. They had numerickal Pelt’s of Beever, Hare, Ferret, & Mink as-well as many a dried Bison-Tung. They reckoned they was Made-Men if they could just make it back to New-Babylon in one-piece. Warned them about the mischievousness of the Nads. They said they was well-aware of the Nads’s Tricksterism’s, & they shall pass-by the Nad-Village at-night so as to evade them. Inquired if they’d heard-word or set Eye’s upon a Skeletal Iberian who goe’s by the name of El Gordo. To which they answered that they had not. We wished them all good fortune but before they departed my Co-Captain Captain Crandall quickly scribbled-out a letter to President Torso & asked them to carry it to the U.S. gov’t offices in New-Babylon. Which they hartily were in agreeance to do for a small-fee. In it Crandall simply stated we had made satisfactory Progression, were nearing the Miarhpe-Village where we would winterize, had had a close-scrape with the Nad’s, had been obfuscated by El Gordo but excaped his clutches, & not lost a Man yet. Of-course he did not mention we had acquired an extraneous-member in the Form of the Seeress. As I watched him write I had an urge to also quickly pen an Epistle to my Bespoken but resisted said urge. Encamped on the north-side of the river having travailed 37 Anglickan-Miles this day.
[Crandall] Fryeday the 12th of October, 1800
Having suffered from a fiendish indisposition for the past few Day’s I this mourning felt well enuff for the Full Resumption of all my formal duties as Co-Captain of this Corpse. My Stomach (& my Back) has ever been my Achilles Heal, & this fact I shan’t escape till both I & my Stomach (& my Back) are no moor. I took my turn at the Ores & I also walked upon land for a little while to inspect the Flaura & Fauna there on. The Land continuates flat & grassy & it is only now that I can fully comprehend the sheer voluminousness & vacuity of these Planes. One can see for Mile’s heaped upon Mile’s, & there are Tail’s of Traitors & Trappists1 who have gone madd in these Planes, a Madness not unlike that experienced by the Kaye’s, the lack of Trees & Hills & Landmarks either Manmade or Naturalised making them to call in to question their vary Existences. While on the Other Hand there are Other’s who relish this openspacedness, this wunderfull Desolation, who once they have tasted of it go madd when they return to the West, feeling much too much cramped & confined, suffering from a kloisterphobia both physickal & spiritual. I can empathise with both Sides—for this stretching out in to Infinitude both scares & soothes me, feeling the allure of illimitless possibilitie & the horrour of neverendingness all in one Breadth2. After I returned to Reason two moore Men set out a-hunting & killed a Bison & a Stagg & we encamped shortley there after dining upon this Bounty & jerquing the Remainder. After Dinar3 our recedent Orpheos Gun4 played for us, & one song which I had never set Ear’s on before I took the trouble of later taking down from him in Dicktation:
Take this Armour & carry it to my Captain
Tell him I’m gone, tell him I’m gone, tell him I’m gone
Take this Armour & carry it to my Captain
Tell him I’m gone, just tell him I’m gone, I’m surely gone
This is the Arrow that killed Achilles
But it won’t kill me, but it won’t kill me, but it won’t kill me
This is the Arrow that killed Achilles
But it won’t kill me, but it won’t kill me, ain’t gonna kill me
It a long Way’s from old Scamandros
Honey to my home, honey to my home, honey to my home
It a long Way’s from old Scamandros
Honey to my home, honey to my home, honey to my home
Achilles he left his Armour
All covered in red, all covered in red, all covered in red
Achilles he left his Armour
All covered in red, all covered in red, all covered in red
Achilles was a Cold Blooded Killer
But he went down, but he went down, but he went down
Achilles was a Cold Blooded Killer
But he went down, but he went down, yes he went down
Take this Armour & carry it to my Captain
Tell him I’m gone, tell him I’m gone, tell him I’m gone
Take this Armour & carry it to my Captain
Tell him I’m gone, just tell him I’m gone, I’m surely gone
We past one stream on the north side this day which we called Homesick River because a couple of the Men espressed this Centiment, &c., &c., & we also passed a largish island which we opted to call Two Turtles Copulating Island because we saw two turtles copulating on its Shore’s. We traveled Thirtey Three Anglickan Myles today.
[Crandall] Saturnday the 13th of October, 1800
We narrowly evaded being killed this Mourning an hour or so before Don5. Our Watch Men said they’d heard a basso profundo Sound Affect which they took to be a distant Thunder Storm so they did not pay it much heed. But as it waxxed loudsomer it donned upon them that this was no Thunder Storm at all, so deeming it to be a Nad Raid they awoke all of us with barbarick yawps enunciating that we was under attack. So grabbing our Weaponry we rushed out side to prepare our Selve’s for an onslaught but the onslaught wasn’t quite as what we had been led to believe. For the Earth trembled with the Beat’s of an Infinitude of Hooves & surely this was no Nad Raid at all but some Thing moor terrible. All of us seamed to fathom the Ultimate Truth of the matter simultaneouslie, some running to Reason for Shelter, some clambering up Trees, Other’s frozen where they was betwixt an Invisible Scylla & Karybdis so transfixed with Dred they was. As for me my gratest worry was for the Priestess, so I fourthwidth grabbed her Upper Arm & drug her up to the Deck of Reason which we reached just as the fourrunners of a terrible Bison Horde came crashing through the Trees & plunging in to the River with grand splashing’s. Some Bison buffeted the side of our boat which caused it to rock & I was afraid that they would burst the ropes & send us adrift in the darksomeness with not enuff Men to manouevre her. But the Rope’s fortuitouslie held—yet the furry6 & the sound of it all buggered all explication: the thrumming of the innumerable Hooves & the bellicose bellowing of the Beast’s & the roiling of the Water’s as they hurled them Selves in to the River was enuff to deaden the Censes. I know not how many minuet’s it took for this Horde to pass thru—could of been five, could of been as much as half an hour—but once the final Hoofbeats had faded every Body reassembled at our Encampment or what was left of it. All Corpse Member’s was accompted for accept7 for the Brothers Kaye & Eastbroadway, & searching thru the wreckage of our illfated Encampment Sight we soon found the prostate8 form of Eastbroadway still sound asleep under the collapsed pile of his overturned Tent & we did not even bother to awaken him because he seemed infantilely peaceful there, curled up in a Foetal Position & genitally snoring, proving that some People really can sleep thru any Thing. We then searched for the Kayes, shouting their names vociferously, & being in receivership of zero response a few of us fired off our Gunz while Other’s journeyed out further to see if they had run afar off but no Keyes could any One descry. As Mourning became afternoon we began to morn them once again, but since they’d all ready dyed once & Humanoid Nature being what it is this Time out we was considerably less sadd then before since they had all ready mentally prepared us for their Demizes. We assumed that they had been hurled in to the River by the Stampeding Beast’s & there met a Watery Grave. It goe’s with out saying that all our Tents was torn & scattered & that the various belongings we had kept with in them was either broken or had been kicked in to the River by the merciless Hooves of the Bison’s. Luckily I had taken none of my Books nor any of my Instrument’s in to my Tent this Nite because I had been absolutely exhaustified after my Day’s rambles, my Body not having yet regained its accustomed Vivacity after my recent Illness. My Comrade Murry, how ever much mourned the loss of a small likeness he had had etched of his Bespoken. Never have I seen this normally serene Mann so frantick. He scowered every square Anglickan Inch of the Encampment & even dredged the River with his Fingars but he was unable to localise it. Seeing his Distress, I told him that I would at once undertake to draw her likeness & that he could suggest which ever Correction’s that he saw fit in ordure to reconstruct a perfect replication of her. But with Tear’s nearly in his Eye’s he confessed to me that he could no longer recall what she looked like—her Face in his Mental Vision being all ablurr & vague as Hades, pour retch9. We lingered here at our illfated Encampment Cite all the Day to mend what was damaged & search for what was lost. We also sent Eastbroadway & Dillon out to hunt & they returned in the late afternoon with some Wilde Turkies & a Stagg. Snow begun to lightly drop about the Time our Hunter’s regressed while the Preistess continuated gloomy as Hades much of the Day, chewing on the End’s of her Hare10 up on the Poop all by her Self, thinking that she had brought bad luck upon our Expedition, pour retch. “First the Debacle with the Nads,” she said unto me morosely with a few Strand’s of Hare yet hanging from the Side of her Mouth, “now this: Two Good Men lost, you’re Possessions trashed, & an Other Day squandered with Winter setting in fast.” But just as she had compleated this verbal self flagellation two Humanoid Figurines11 appeared across the River & began to waive their Arm’s & jump up & down & holler. “It’s us! We are the Keys! We are the Keys!” And it’s true, it was them, all tho one would hardley recognise them in their currant State for they was in their undershorts & they was bloodied, bedirtied, & bedraggled—but alive. Rowing Reason over to them in ordure to fetch them, their Storey was a bit incoheirent at first but after we gave them a Dram or Twain of Ardent Spirit’s they settled with in them Selves & told us that like the rest of us they had been awakened by the Cries of the Watch Men but they had had a difficult Time in localising their Weaponry & also exiting their Tent, & since their Tent was the most distant from the River they was the first to receive the brunt of the Bisons’s Surcharge’s. But in Stead of being crushed ’neath the Hoof’s of the Beast’s their Tent became snagged on the horn’s of one or moore of them & they was dragged clear thru the Encampment & then towed across the River. Fortunate not to be drowned they were further dragged across the Plane on the Other Side & much battered in the Process until the Bison or Bison’s under whose Auspices they found them Selves to be serving saw fit to disburthen them Selve’s of the freeloading Kayes leaving them some distance from the River. It yet being darksome they took some time to rest & condole them Selves & then with the arising of the Son they attempted to reorient them Selves & find our Encampment once again. But their Pace was tardy because Franz had either sprained or badley twisted his Anklette plus they could not agree on which side of the River they was on nor which side we had encamped on yesternite. But once this Controversy had been resolved they eventually found their Way back to us & the Priestess immediately requested to perfourm a Sacrifice of Thank’s Giving for the lack of Fatalities in this Close Scrape & my Comred Murry & I opted to humour her suggesting the Deer lately slain. Ideally, she said, it should be a live victim but after I reminded her that capturing still living game in a Wilderness such as this would tardify us too much she acquiesced & agreed to burn the entrails of the lately slain Stagg & also pour out a half Cupful of Ardent Spirits in to the Fyre to honour the Godz. As the Son decreased in Pourer12 we all psilently watched her enact her Priestley Duties & I must say I was impressed by the Way she lifted up her arms & chaunted in various Tong’s & how her Eye’s rolled back in her head so just the white’s was displayed. We then all partook of the extraneous Meet with no small portion of relish & Private Delancey daned to regale us with an Other Poem dedicated to the Kayes, but much to the Consternation of my Comred Murry he reverted to the dredded “es” technique:
The Kayses
If you pleases
Have died not onces
But now twiceses
That’s none too shabby
For a couple of boyzes
From old New Lemnoses
And now the Corpse is
Hole13 once moore!
Let it never be severed
Ever ever again
For we need our Kayses
Yes we do
And we need You!
And You!
And You!
And You!
And You!
And You!
And You!
And You!
And You!
And You!
And You!
During the Resuscitation of these Last Line’s he pointed at each Corpse Member & added extra emphasis to the word You even including the Priestess & our Dog Herakles. The Priestess appeared much affected by this Inclusion & said, “Guyz, guyz! Do you really consider me part of this Corpse? Do you now?” & the Men to a Mann said Yes which all most elicited Tearz from her Eye’s, pour retch. The Men retired late because of coarse we treated them to a Dram or Twain of Ardent Spirit’s which propelled them into Region’s of laughter & mirth long after perhap’s was advisable.
Illustration by Henry Cousin
Tales of traders and trappers
Breath
Dinner
Gonne, Ellston Gonne.
Dawn
Fury
Except
Prostrate
Poor wretch
Hair
Human figures, presumably.
Power
Whole, presumably.